“Who could it be that has robbed me of my moidores and jewels?”exclaimed Miss Cunegund, all bathed in tears.“How shall we live?What shall we do?Where shall I find Inquisitors and Jews who can give me more?”
“Alas!”said the old woman,“I have a shrewd suspicion of a reverend Franciscan father, who lay last night in the same inn with us at Badajoz. God forbid I should condemn any one wrongfully, but he came into our room twice, and he set off in the morning long before us.”
“Alas!”said Candide,“Pangloss has often demonstrated to me that the goods of this world are common to all men, and that everyone has an equal right to the enjoyment of them;but, not withstanding, according to these principles, the Franciscan ought to have left us enough to carry us to the end of our journey. Have you nothing at all left, my dear Miss Cunegund?”
“Not a maravedi,”replied she.
“What is to be done then?”said Candide.
“Sell one of the horses,”replied the old woman.“I will get up behind Miss Cunegund, though I have only one buttock to ride on, and we shall reach Cadiz.”
In the same inn there was a Benedictine friar, who bought the horse very cheap. Candide, Cunegund, and the old woman, after passing through Lucina, Chellas, and Letrixa, arrived at length at Cadiz.A feet was then getting ready, and troops were assembling in order to induce the reverend fathers, Jesuits of Paraguay, who were accused of having excited one of the Indian tribes in the neighborhood of the town of the Holy Sacrament, to revolt against the Kings of Spain and Portugal.
Candide, having been in the Bulgarian service, performed the military exercise of that nation before the general of this little army with so intrepid an air, and with such agility and expedition, that he received the command of a company of foot. Being now made a captain, he embarked with Miss Cunegund, the old woman, two valets, and the two Andalusian horses, which had belonged to the Grand Inquisitor of Portugal.
During their voyage they amused themselves with many profound reasonings on poor Pangloss's philosophy.
“We are now going into another world, and surely it must be there that everything is for the best;for I must confess that we have had some little reason to complain of what passes in ours, both as to the physical and moral part. Though I have a sincere love for you,”said Miss Cunegund,“yet I still shudder at the refection of what I have seen and experienced.”
“All will be well,”replied Candide,“the sea of this new world is already better than our European seas:it is smoother, and the winds blow more regularly.”
“God grant it,”said Cunegund,“but I have met with such terrible treatment in this world that I have almost lost all hopes of a better one.”
“What murmuring and complaining is here indeed!”cried the old woman.“If you had suffered half what I have, there might be some reason for it.”
Miss Cunegund could scarce refrain from laughing at the good old woman, and thought it droll enough to pretend to a greater share of misfortunes than her own.
“Alas!My good dame,”said she,“unless you had been ravished by two Bulgarians, had received two deep wounds in your belly, had seen two of your own castles demolished, had lost two fathers, and two mothers, and seen both of them barbarously murdered before your eyes, and to sum up all, had two lovers whipped at an auto-da-fe, I cannot see how you could be more unfortunate than I. Add to this, though born a baroness, and bearing seventy-two quarterings, I have been reduced to the station of a cook-wench.”
“Miss,”replied the old woman,“you do not know my family as yet;but if I were to show you my posteriors, you would not talk in this manner, but suspend your judgment.”This speech raised a high curiosity in Candide and Cunegund;and the old woman continued as follows.
居內貢一邊哭一邊說:“啊,誰偷了我的比斯多[18]和鉆石?教咱們靠什么過活呢?怎么辦呢?哪里再能找到大法官和猶太人,給我金洋和鉆石呢?”
老婆子道:“唉!昨天晚上有個芳濟會神父,在巴大育和我們宿在一個客棧里,我疑心是他干的事;青天在上,我決不敢冤枉好人,不過那神父到我們房里來過兩次,比我們早走了不知多少時候?!?/p>
老實人道:“哎?。“罡鹆_斯常常向我證明,塵世的財富是人類的公產,人人皆得而取之。根據(jù)這原則,那芳濟會神父應當留下一部分錢,給我們作路費。美麗的居內貢,難道他什么都不留給我們嗎?”
她說:“一個子兒都沒留。”
老實人道:“那怎么辦呢?”
老婆子道:“賣掉一匹馬吧;我雖然只有半個屁股,還是可以騎在小姐背后;這樣我們就可以到加第士了?!?/p>
小客棧中住著一個本多會修院的院長,花了很低的價錢買了馬。老實人、居內貢和老婆子,經過羅賽那、基拉斯、萊勃列克撒,到了加第士。加第士正在編一個艦隊,招募士兵,預備教巴拉圭的耶穌會神父[19]就范,因為有人告他們煽動某個部落反抗西班牙與葡萄牙的國王。老實人在保加利亞吃過糧,便到那支小小的遠征軍中,當著統(tǒng)領的面表演保加利亞兵操,身段、動作那么高雅、迅速、利落、威武、矯捷,統(tǒng)領看了,立即分撥一連步兵歸他統(tǒng)率。他當了上尉,帶著居內貢小姐、老婆子、兩名當差和葡萄牙異教裁判所大法官的兩匹安達魯齊馬,上了船。
航行途中,他們一再討論可憐的邦葛羅斯的哲學。
“現(xiàn)在咱們要到另外一個世界去了;大概那個世界是十全十美的。因為老實說,我們這兒的物質生活和精神生活,的確有點兒可悲可嘆?!本觾蓉暤?,“我真是一心一意地愛你,可是我所看到的、所經歷的,使我還驚慌得很呢?!?/p>
“以后就好啦,”老實人回答,“這新世界的海洋已經比我們歐洲的好多了;浪更平靜,風也更穩(wěn)定。最好的世界一定是新大陸?!?/p>
居內貢說:“但愿如此!可是在我那世界上,我遭遇太慘了,幾乎不敢再存什么希望?!?/p>
老婆子說:“你們都怨命,唉!你們還沒受過我那樣的災難呢。”
居內貢差點兒笑出來,覺得老婆子自稱為比她更苦命,未免可笑;她道:“哎!我的老媽媽,除非你被兩個保加利亞兵強奸,除非你肚子上挨過兩刀,除非你有兩座宮堡毀掉,除非人家當著你的面殺死了你兩個父親兩個母親,除非你有兩個情人在功德會中挨打,我就不信你受的災難會超過我的;還得補上一句:我是七十二代貴族之后,身為男爵的女兒,結果竟做了廚娘?!?/p>
“小姐,”老婆子回答,“你不知道我的出身;你要是看到我的屁股,就不會說這種話,也不會下這個斷語了。”這兩句話大大地引起了居內貢和老實人的好奇心。老婆子便說出下面一番話來。