It was Sternfeldt’s turn to sleep badly that night. An interrupted love-adventure is not favourable to repose. A restless, dream-laden night made him regret not having seized the propitious moment...The shades of sleeplessness and discontent still shrouded his mind when, next morning, he came down on his way to breakfast. The boy, who for some time had been lying in ambush, made a passionate assault, flung his lean arms round his friend, and volleyed forth questions. How jolly to have this big friend all to himself and not have to share his treasure with Mother! She did not need to tell him the wonderful stories, she had broken faith; the hero himself would give an account of those enthralling adventures.
The baron was put out. He found the child’s constant spying most incommodious. The deluge of questions was intolerable. The passionate love bestowed on him by the boy was becoming a burden.It was a nuisance to have a twelve-year-old jackanapes perpetually at one’s heels. What he wanted was to get hold of the mother before she had cooled off. How could this aim be realized if the child was always hanging around? Uneasiness germinated in his mind. Had he done wisely to arouse Edgar’s tender emotions? Certainly it was going to prove difficult to free himself from this ubiquitous youth!
Still, it was up to him to try. He was expecting Frau Blumental to appear at about ten o’clock, and meanwhile he allowed the boy to besiege him with questions. They flowed over him like an avalanche, and he needed merely to put in a word here and there to keep the child happy. When the minute-hand was at the hour he made as if he suddenly recollected an appointment, and begged Edgar to run over to the opposite hotel to ask whether Count Grundheim, the baron’s cousin, had arrived.
Radiant that the message should be confided to his care Edgar sped off to inquire. How splendid to be of use to his friend! Eager to carry out his mission worthily, the boy bustled along—to the inconvenience and surprise of other visitors. He was keen on showing how smart a messenger he could be, and took no notice of their exasperated stares. The porter informed him that Count Grundheim had not yet arrived, and that, indeed, the gentleman’s coming had not, so far, ever been announced. Edgar returned on winged feet, bringing the tidings—but the lounge was empty, the baron was nowhere to be found. No answer came to a knock at his friend’s door. Dashing from hall to diningroom, from music-room to bar, he inquired from all and sundry whether they had seen Baron von Sternfeldt. Then he ran helter-skelter to his mother’s quarters—but she, too, had vanished. Coming downstairs once more, he asked the porter, who told him that the pair had gone out together a few minutes earlier. The child was dumbfounded.
Edgar awaited their return with all the patience he could muster. In his innocence, he suspected nothing untoward. They’d only be gone a very short while he was sure, for the baron would want to know whether Count Grundheim had come or not. Hour followed hour, and, as they did not return, the boy grew increasingly uneasy. Ever since the morning when his seductive stranger had entered his young life, he had been in suspense. The child mind is a fragile mechanism, and every passion leaves its imprint like a seal upon wax. Edgar’s eyelids began to quiver, his face became wan. He waited and waited; at first patiently, but anon becoming more and more excited, until at last he burst into tears. Even now his suspicions were not aroused. He possessed so blind a confidence in his new friend that he attributed everything to a misunderstanding. A doubt entered his mind. Might he not have interpreted the message falsely?
At last they came back, and stood talking pleasantly in the hall just as if nothing unusual had happened. They did not seem to have missed him. Without asking for the answer to his message, the baron said:
“We thought we’d meet you on the way, Eddie.”
Overcome with confusion at the thought that they had looked for him vainly, the child protested that he had run straight back along High Street. What direction had they taken? But Frau Blumental cut her son’s indiscreet questions short, saying:
“There, there now! Children must not try to put their fingers into every pie.”
Edgar went scarlet with mortification. It was the second time she had humiliated him in the presence of his friend. Why did she do this? What was the object’ of making him out to be the child he no longer felt himself to be? She must envy him so wonderful a friend and had probably planned to capture the baron for herself. How mean! Yes;and it was she, doubtless, who had deliberately led Sternfeldt in the wrong direction. But he was not going to let her misuse him whenever the fancy seized her. He’d show her! He made up his mind not to say a word to her during luncheon but only to address his friend.
This plan was difficult of execution. What he most feared happened: neither of them noticed his fit of the sulks. Worse still, they seemed to be unaware of his presence, though yesterday he had been the focus around which had concentrated their attention and interest. They talked over his head, joked and laughed as if he were non-existent. The blood welled up into his cheeks, he felt a lump in his throat which nearly suffocated him. Keenly aware of his impotence to create a more favourable atmosphere around his person, he sat mumchance while his mother stole his only friend away under his nose. He would have given almost anything to have the courage to stand up and thump the table with his fist—just to make them realize that he was there. But he did not dare to assert himself. He had to be content with laying down his knife and fork, and refusing to eat. In this demonstration, too, he was foiled for they were not aware of his self-imposed fast until the final course was being served. Then his mother inquired if he was not feeling well.“Ugh,” he thought, “She’s always fussing about my health. Otherwise she doesn’t care a scrap.” His answer was curt. “Not hungry,” was all he said—and she appeared satisfied. Still they continued to ignore him. The baron seemed totally to have forgotten his existence. Anyway, he never addressed a single word to the boy. Edgar’s eyes burned with partially suppressed tears, and he was forced to adopt the childish subterfuge of wiping his mouth in order to mop up with his table—napkin the water which coursed down his face. At last the meal was over; and, with a sigh of relief, he pushed back his chair, prepared to rush away from the table.
While they had been eating, his mother had proposed an excursion to Maria-Schutz. “So she’s determined not to leave me a minute alone with the baron,” thought the child. But worse was in store. As Edgar was making for the door, his mother called him back, saying:
“Edgar, you’ll be forgetting all you ever learned if you don’t set to work on your holiday tasks. You had better stay quietly at home, and get on with your schoolwork for an hour or so.”
Why was she set upon humiliating him before his friend, perpetually recalling him to the fact that he was a child? Edgar clenched his fists and turning on his heel, again made for the exit.
“Huffy? You take offence too easily, my son,” she said, smiling indulgently. Then, addressing the baron she added: “Do you find me too severe when I ask him to attend to his studies for an hour now and again?”
The baron’s reply was like an icy morsel of steel plunged into Edgar’s heart.
“Can’t for the life of me see what harm a few hours’ study could do.”
Was it a plot to get rid of him? Were they leagued against him? Edgar’s gorge rose.
“Dad said I wasn’t to do any lessons while I was here,” he declared. “Dad said I was to get well and strong.”
The child’s threatening aspect—or was it the reference to paternal authority?—seemed to produce an effect upon his antagonists. His mother drummed with her fingers on the table, and stared out through the window. An oppressive silence weighed upon the trio. After a prolonged pause, the baron said with a forced smile:
“Just as you please, Eddie. It’s not for me to preach; I was as lazy as you make ’em at your age, and failed in all my exams.”
But Edgar was long past being in a mood to respond to such pleasantries. He looked up at Sternfeldt with searching eyes, as though he would fain have penetrated to his friend’s innermost thoughts. What was happening? Something had changed. They were no longer the intimates they had been. Why! The child was too young to unravel the mystery. He lowered his eyes while his heart beat like a sledge-hammer. Doubt had entered his mind.
However, the mother relented, and said:
“All right, Edgar, lie down for half an hour. Then get ready to start. You shall come with us on the drive.”
男爵沒有睡好。一次調(diào)情中斷之后就去睡覺總是危險(xiǎn)的:一個(gè)不平靜的、夢(mèng)魘頻擾之夜,使他不久就后悔沒有把這一分鐘緊緊抓住。當(dāng)他早晨帶著未消的睡意,懷著惡劣的心緒走下樓來時(shí),孩子從躲藏的地方朝他蹦跳過來,熱情地投入他的懷里,用千百個(gè)問題來折磨他。埃德加非常快樂,他又有一分鐘可以獨(dú)占他的大朋友,而不須和媽媽分享了。他的故事該只講給他聽,不再講給媽媽聽了。他向他提出許許多多問題,因?yàn)閶寢岆m然答應(yīng)給他講,但還是沒有把這種奇妙的故事講給他聽。這時(shí),男爵吃了一驚,掩飾不住自己惡劣的心情,但埃德加卻把成百個(gè)孩子氣的、惱人的問題傾倒在他身上。此外,在提這些問題時(shí)還摻雜著種種親昵的表示。他終于又和這位他找了好久、一大早就等著的朋友單獨(dú)在一起,他真是快樂極了。
男爵粗聲粗氣地敷衍著。這孩子沒完沒了的盯梢、數(shù)不盡的幼稚的問題以及他那并不討人喜歡的熱情,所有這一切,都開始使他感到厭煩。天天同一個(gè)十二歲的孩子轉(zhuǎn)來轉(zhuǎn)去,跟他說些無聊的話,對(duì)此他感到厭煩了。現(xiàn)在他一心只想著如何趁熱打鐵,趕快把這位母親掌握住,而孩子在場(chǎng)卻使這事很棘手。由于他的不慎,喚起了孩子對(duì)自己的這種癡情,他對(duì)此開始感到不快。這使他心情抑郁,因?yàn)闀簳r(shí)他無法擺脫開這個(gè)熱情得過分的朋友。
不過,無論如何總得設(shè)法擺脫他。一直到十點(diǎn)鐘——他和孩子母親約好去散步的時(shí)間,他心不在焉地敷衍著嘰嘰喳喳說個(gè)不停的孩子,只是偶爾插上一兩句話,同時(shí)還翻閱著報(bào)紙??僧?dāng)時(shí)鐘的指針快成九十度角的時(shí)候,仿佛他忽然記起來似的,他請(qǐng)埃德加為他到另一家旅館去一趟,問問他的表兄格倫特海姆伯爵到了沒有。
真心實(shí)意的孩子真是高興極了,終于可以為他的朋友辦點(diǎn)事了,他對(duì)自己的使者身份很自豪,立即奔了出去,撒腿猛跑,惹得人們都奇怪地望著他的背影??墒撬麉s一心想顯示一下,把事情交給他辦是多么可靠。那家旅館的人對(duì)他說,伯爵還沒有到,現(xiàn)在壓根兒還沒有人來打過招呼。他帶著這個(gè)消息又狂奔了回來。但是男爵已經(jīng)不在前廳里了。于是他就去敲男爵的房門——白敲了一陣!他懷著不安的心情跑遍了所有的場(chǎng)所,音樂室和咖啡室,然后激動(dòng)地沖到他媽媽那里去打聽個(gè)究竟。她也不在。最后他十分失望地去問門房,門房告訴他,幾分鐘之前他們倆人一起出去了!這消息驚得他目瞪口呆。
埃德加耐心地等待著,他天真無邪,根本不往任何壞事上想。他想他們大概只是出去一會(huì)兒,對(duì)此他是很有把握的,因?yàn)槟芯暨€等著他的回話呢。但是好幾個(gè)小時(shí)過去了,不安開始潛入他的心頭。真的,打從這位陌生的、誘人的人進(jìn)入了他幼小的天真無邪的生活那一天起,這孩子整天都處于緊張、激動(dòng)和紛亂的狀態(tài)之中。任何熱情壓在像小孩那么纖細(xì)的機(jī)體上,宛如壓在柔軟的石蠟上一樣,都會(huì)留下它的痕跡。眼皮又神經(jīng)質(zhì)地顫抖起來,臉色變得更加蒼白。埃德加等啊,等啊,起先是不耐煩,后來就激動(dòng)不安,末了幾乎要哭了。但他一直沒有什么怨恨,他盲目地信賴這位出色的朋友。他想可能是個(gè)誤會(huì)。隱隱的恐懼折磨著他,也許是自己把他托付的事理解錯(cuò)了。
他們終于回來了,兩人愉快地聊著天,絲毫也沒有什么驚訝的表示,這可真令人奇怪極了??磥硭麄兏揪蜎]有把他放在心上?!拔覀冇闳チ?,希望在路上碰見你。埃狄。”男爵說,并不問托付他辦的事。他們居然沒有在路上碰見他,這使孩子大為詫異。他向他們保證說他是從筆直的大馬路上跑回來的,并想知道他們是從哪個(gè)方向去找他的。剛說到這里,媽媽就打斷他的話:“行了,行了!小孩子不要盤根問底,沒完沒了?!?/p>
埃德加臉都?xì)饧t了,當(dāng)著他的朋友的面這么卑鄙地來貶低他,這已經(jīng)是第二次了。她為什么要這樣做?他確信,他已不是孩子了,而她為什么總要把他當(dāng)成孩子?顯然她嫉妒他有個(gè)朋友,挖空心思想把他的朋友拉過去。對(duì)了,剛才肯定是她故意把男爵領(lǐng)錯(cuò)路的。但是他不愿任她欺侮,這一點(diǎn)她該明白。他要給她點(diǎn)顏色看。埃德加決定今天吃飯的時(shí)候只同他的朋友說話,跟她一句話也不說。
但是他們根本就沒有注意到他的報(bào)復(fù),甚至連他這個(gè)人也好像沒有看見。這使他很難受,這完全出乎他的預(yù)料啊!昨天他們?cè)谝黄鸬臅r(shí)候,他曾經(jīng)是軸心啊!現(xiàn)在他們兩人談笑風(fēng)生,互相調(diào)侃,可是沒有一句話與他相干,仿佛他掉到桌子底下去了。血涌上他的雙頰,喉嚨里像是塞了一團(tuán)東西,卡住了呼吸。他越來越憤慨地意識(shí)到自己竟是那樣的無足輕重。難道他就老老實(shí)實(shí)在這兒坐著,看著他母親把他的朋友搶去,除了沉默之外不能進(jìn)行什么反抗了嗎?他想,他得站起來,用兩個(gè)拳頭出其不意地猛捶桌子。只有這樣,才能把他們的注意力引到自己身上。但是他控制住了自己,只是放下刀叉,一口也不吃了。他們很久也沒發(fā)現(xiàn)他不吃東西,只是到最后一道菜時(shí),母親才奇怪地注意到,問他是不是不舒服了。“可惡,”他心里想,“她想的只是我是不是病了,別的事情她都覺得無關(guān)緊要?!彼淅涞鼗卮鹫f,他不想吃,這她也就滿意了。沒有什么事,什么事也不會(huì)促使他們來理睬他的。男爵似乎已經(jīng)完全把他忘了,至少他沒有和他說過一句話。他眼里熱乎乎的,淚水涌進(jìn)了眼眶,他得想個(gè)法子,在乘人不注意的時(shí)候,迅速地拿起餐巾,好使這該死的幼稚的淚水不至于毫無顧忌地流下雙頰。這頓飯結(jié)束的時(shí)候,他舒了一口氣。
吃飯的時(shí)候,他母親建議一起坐馬車到瑪麗婭·舒茨去玩一次。埃德加聽著,用牙齒咬著嘴唇。她一分鐘也不讓他單獨(dú)跟他的朋友在一起。現(xiàn)在她邊站起來邊對(duì)他說:“埃德加,你要把功課全忘了,你得留在房里把功課補(bǔ)一補(bǔ)?!甭牭竭@話,他對(duì)她恨到了極點(diǎn)。他又一次把小拳頭攥得緊緊的。她老想在他朋友面前侮辱他,總是當(dāng)眾提醒他,他還是孩子,還得上學(xué),只有得到允許才可以同大人在一起。這回的用意可是一目了然的。他未做回答,立即把身子扭了過去?!班?,又不高興了?!彼χf,隨后就對(duì)男爵說:“要是他做上一小時(shí)功課,真會(huì)那么影響他的健康嗎?”
“喏,一兩小時(shí)對(duì)身體絕不會(huì)有什么壞處?!蹦芯粽f。男爵,他一度把自己稱為他的好朋友的男爵,曾經(jīng)嘲笑他是書呆子的男爵,現(xiàn)在居然說這樣的話,他感到渾身發(fā)涼,血液凝固。
這是默契嗎?他們兩人真的聯(lián)合起來對(duì)付他了嗎?孩子的目光里閃爍著憤怒的火焰?!鞍职植蛔屛以谶@里學(xué)習(xí),爸爸要我在這里休養(yǎng)?!彼幌掳堰@句話甩了出來,帶有一種對(duì)自己疾病的驕傲,絕望地死抱住父親的話、父親的威望不放。他把這句話當(dāng)作是一種威脅說了出來。真是奇怪之至,看來這句話當(dāng)真使得他們兩人心里都不愉快。母親把目光移開,只用手指煩躁不安地敲著桌子。他們之間出現(xiàn)一陣難堪的沉默?!半S你吧,埃狄。”末了男爵強(qiáng)作笑容地說,“我又不用考試,我各門功課早就是不及格的?!?/p>
對(duì)這個(gè)玩笑,埃德加并沒有笑,只是用審視的、銳利的目光打量著他,仿佛要深入到他的靈魂中去似的。發(fā)生了什么事呢?他們之間的關(guān)系起了變化。為什么?孩子并不清楚。他不安地移動(dòng)著他的目光,一把小槌在他心里劇烈地敲打著:第一次猜疑。
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