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雙語·月亮與六便士 第五十五章

所屬教程:譯林版·月亮與六便士

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2022年04月28日

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Dr. Coutras was an old Frenchman of great stature and exceeding bulk.His body was shaped like a huge duck's egg;and his eyes, sharp, blue, and good-natured, rested now and then with self-satisfaction on his enormous paunch.His complexion was florid and his hair white.He was a man to attract immediate sympathy.He received us in a room that might have been in a house in a provincial town in France, and the one or two Polynesian curios had an odd look.He took my hand in both of his-they were huge-and he gave me a hearty look, in which, however, was great shrewdness.When he shook hands with Capitaine Brunot he inquired politely after Madame et les enfants.For some minutes there was an exchange of courtesies and some local gossip about the island, the prospects of copra and the vanilla crop;then we came to the object of my visit.

I shall not tell what Dr. Coutras related to me in his words, but in my own, for I cannot hope to give at second hand any impression of his vivacious delivery.He had a deep, resonant voice, ftted to his massive frame, and a keen sense of the dramatic.To listen to him was, as the phrase goes, as good as a play;and much better than most.

It appears that Dr. Coutras had gone one day to Taravao in order to see an old chiefess who was ill, and he gave a vivid picture of the obese old lady, lying in a huge bed, smoking cigarettes, and surrounded by a crowd of dark-skinned retainers.When he had seen her he was taken into another room and given dinner-raw fish, fried bananas, and chicken-que sais-je, the typical dinner of the indigène-and while he was eating it he saw a young girl being driven away from the door in tears.He thought nothing of it, but when he went out to get into his trap and drive home, he saw her again, standing a little way off;she looked at him with a woebegone air, and tears streamed down her cheeks.He asked someone what was wrong with her, and was told that she had come down from the hills to ask him to visit a white man who was sick.They had told her that the doctor could not be disturbed.He called her, and himself asked what she wanted.She told him that Ata had sent her, she who used to be at the H?tel de la Fleur, and that the Red One was ill.She thrust into his hand a crumpled piece of newspaper, and when he opened it he found in it a hundred-franc note.

“Who is the Red One?”he asked of one of the bystanders.

He was told that that was what they called the Englishman, a painter, who lived with Ata up in the valley seven kilometres from where they were. He recognized Strickland by the description.But it was necessary to walk.It was impossible for him to go;that was why they had sent the girl away.

“I confess,”said the doctor, turning to me,“that I hesitated. I did not relish fourteen kilometres over a bad pathway, and there was no chance that I could get back to Papeete that night.Besides, Strickland was not sympathetic to me.He was an idle, useless scoundrel, who preferred to live with a native woman rather than work for his living like the rest of us.Mon Dieu, how was I to know that one day the world would come to the conclusion that he had genius?I asked the girl if he was not well enough to have come down to see me.I asked her what she thought was the matter with him.She would not answer.I pressed her, angrily perhaps, but she looked down on the ground and began to cry.Then I shrugged my shoulders;after all, perhaps it was my duty to go, and in a very bad temper I bade her lead the way.”

His temper was certainly no better when he arrived, perspiring freely and thirsty. Ata was on the look-out for him, and came a little way along the path to meet him.

“Before I see anyone, give me something to drink or I shall die of thirst,”he cried out.“Pour l'amour de Dieu, get me a coconut.”

She called out, and a boy came running along. He swarmed up a tree, and presently threw down a ripe nut.Ata pierced a hole in it, and the doctor took a long, refreshing draught.Then he rolled himself a cigarette and felt in a better humour.

“Now, where is the Red One?”he asked.

“He is in the house, painting. I have not told him you were coming.Go in and see him.”

“But what does he complain of?If he is well enough to paint, he is well enough to have come down to Taravao and save me this confounded walk. I presume my time is no less valuable than his.”

Ata did not speak, but with the boy followed him to the house. The girl who had brought him was by this time sitting on the veranda, and here was lying an old woman, with her back to the wall, making native cigarettes.Ata pointed to the door.The doctor, wondering irritably why they behaved so strangely, entered, and there found Strickland cleaning his palette.There was a picture on the easel.Strickland, clad only in a pareo, was standing with his back to the door, but he turned round when he heard the sound of boots.He gave the doctor a look of vexation.He was surprised to see him, and resented the intrusion.But the doctor gave a gasp, he was rooted to the foor, and he stared with all his eyes.This was not what he expected.He was seized with horror.

“You enter without ceremony,”said Strickland.“What can I do for you?”

The doctor recovered himself, but it required quite an effort for him to fnd his voice. All his irritation was gone, and he felt-eh bien, oui, je ne le nie pas-he felt an overwhelming pity.

“I am Dr. Coutras.I was down at Taravao to see the chiefess, and Ata sent for me to see you.”

“She's a damned fool. I have had a few aches and pains lately and a little fever, but that's nothing;it will pass off.Next time anyone went to Papeete I was going to send for some quinine.”

“Look at yourself in the glass.”

Strickland gave him a glance, smiled, and went over to a cheap mirror in a little wooden frame, that hung on the wall.

“Well?”

“Do you not see a strange change in your face?Do you not see the thickening of your features and a look-how shall I describe it?-the books call it lion-faced. Mon pauvre ami, must I tell you that you have a terrible disease?”

“I?”

“When you look at yourself in the glass you see the typical appearance of the leper.”

“You are jesting,”said Strickland.

“I wish to God I were.”

“Do you intend to tell me that I have leprosy?”

“Unfortunately, there can be no doubt about it.”

Dr. Coutras had delivered sentence of death on many men, and he could never overcome the horror with which it flled him.He felt always the furious hatred that must seize a man condemned when he compared himself with the doctor, sane and healthy, who had the inestimable privilege of life.Strickland looked at him in silence.Nothing of emotion could be seen on his face, disfgured already by the loathsome disease.

“Do they know?”he asked at last, pointing to the persons on the veranda, now sitting in unusual, unaccountable silence.

“These natives know the signs so well,”said the doctor.“They were afraid to tell you.”

Strickland stepped to the door and looked out. There must have been something terrible in his face, for suddenly they all burst out into loud cries and lamentation.They lifted up their voices and they wept.Strickland did not speak.After looking at them for a moment, he came back into the room.

“How long do you think I can last?”

“Who knows?Sometimes the disease continues for twenty years. It is a mercy when it runs its course quickly.”

Strickland went to his easel and looked refectively at the picture that stood on it.

“You have had a long journey. It is fitting that the bearer of important tidings should be rewarded.Take this picture.It means nothing to you now, but it may be that one day you will be glad to have it.”

Dr. Coutras protested that he needed no payment for his journey;he had already given back to Ata the hundred-franc note, but Strickland insisted that he should take the picture.Then together they went out on the veranda.The natives were sobbing violently.

“Be quiet, woman. Dry thy tears,”said Strickland, addressing Ata.“There is no great harm.I shall leave thee very soon.”

“They are not going to take thee away?”she cried.

At that time there was no rigid sequestration on the islands, and lepers, if they chose, were allowed to go free.

“I shall go up into the mountain,”said Strickland.

Then Ata stood up and faced him.

“Let the others go if they choose, but I will not leave thee. Thou art my man and I am thy woman.If thou leavest me I shall hang myself on the tree that is behind the house.I swear it by God.”

There was something immensely forcible in the way she spoke. She was no longer the meek, soft native girl, but a determined woman.She was extraordinarily transformed.

“Why shouldst thou stay with me?Thou canst go back to Papeete, and thou wilt soon find another white man. The old woman can take care of thy children, and Tiaré will be glad to have thee back.”

“Thou art my man and I am thy woman. Whither thou goest I will go too.”

For a moment Strickland's fortitude was shaken, and a tear flled each of his eyes and trickled slowly down his cheeks. Then he gave the sardonic smile which was usual with him.

“Women are strange little beasts,”he said to Dr. Coutras.“You can treat them like dogs, you can beat them till your arm aches, and still they love you.”He shrugged his shoulders.“Of course, it is one of the most absurd illusions of Christianity that they have souls.”

“What is it that thou art saying to the doctor?”asked Ata suspiciously.“Thou wilt not go?”

“If it please thee I will stay, poor child.”

Ata flung herself on her knees before him, and clasped his legs with her arms and kissed them. Strickland looked at Dr.Coutras with a faint smile.

“In the end they get you, and you are helpless in their hands. White or brown, they are all the same.”

Dr. Coutras felt that it was absurd to offer expressions of regret in so terrible a disaster, and he took his leave.Strickland told Tané,the boy, to lead him to the village.Dr.Coutras paused for a moment, and then he addressed himself to me.

“I did not like him, I have told you he was not sympathetic to me, but as I walked slowly down to Taravao I could not prevent an unwilling admiration for the stoical courage which enabled him to bear perhaps the most dreadful of human affictions. When Tané left me I told him I would send some medicine that might be of service;but my hope was small that Strickland would consent to take it, and even smaller that, if he did, it would do him good.I gave the boy a message for Ata that I would come whenever she sent for me.Life is hard, and Nature takes sometimes a terrible delight in torturing her children.It was with a heavy heart that I drove back to my comfortable home in Papeete.”

For a long time none of us spoke.

“But Ata did not send for me,”the doctor went on, at last,“and it chanced that I did not go to that part of the island for a long time. I had no news of Strickland.Once or twice I heard that Ata had been to Papeete to buy painting materials, but I did not happen to see her.More than two years passed before I went to Taravao again, and then it was once more to see the old chiefess.I asked them whether they had heard anything of Strickland.By now it was known everywhere that he had leprosy.First Tané,the boy, had left the house, and then, a little time afterwards, the old woman and her grandchild.Strickland and Ata were left alone with their babies.No one went near the plantation, for, as you know, the natives have a very lively horror of the disease, and in the old days when it was discovered the sufferer was killed;but sometimes, when the village boys were scrambling about the hills, they would catch sight of the white man, with his great red beard, wandering about.They fed in terror.Sometimes Ata would come down to the village at night and arouse the trader, so that he might sell her various things of which she stood in need.She knew that the natives looked upon her with the same horrified aversion as they looked upon Strickland, and she kept out of their way.Once some women, venturing nearer than usual to the plantation, saw her washing clothes in the brook, and they threw stones at her.After that the trader was told to give her the message that if she used the brook again men would come and burn down her house.”

“Brutes,”I said.

“Mais non, mon cher monsieur, men are always the same. Fear makes them cruel……I decided to see Strickland, and when I had fnished with the chiefess asked for a boy to show me the way.But none would accompany me, and I was forced to fnd it alone.”

When Dr. Coutras arrived at the plantation he was seized with a feeling of uneasiness.Though he was hot from walking, he shivered.There was something hostile in the air which made him hesitate, and he felt that invisible forces barred his way.Unseen hands seemed to draw him back.No one would go near now to gather the coconuts, and they lay rotting on the ground.Everywhere was desolation.The bush was encroaching, and it looked as though very soon the primeval forest would regain possession of that strip of land which had been snatched from it at the cost of so much labour.He had the sensation that here was the abode of pain.As he approached the house he was struck by the unearthly silence, and at frst he thought it was deserted.Then he saw Ata.She was sitting on her haunches in the lean-to that served her as kitchen, watching some mess cooking in a pot.Near her a small boy was playing silently in the dirt.She did not smile when she saw him.

“I have come to see Strickland,”he said.

“I will go and tell him.”

She went to the house, ascended the few steps that led to the veranda, and entered. Dr.Coutras followed her, but waited outside in obedience to her gesture.As she opened the door he smelt the sickly sweet smell which makes the neighbourhood of the leper nauseous.He heard her speak, and then he heard Strickland's answer, but he did not recognize the voice.It had become hoarse and indistinct.Dr.Coutras raised his eyebrows.He judged that the disease had already attacked the vocal cords.Then Ata came out again.

“He will not see you. You must go away.”

Dr. Coutras insisted, but she would not let him pass.Dr.Coutras shrugged his shoulders, and after a moment's reflection turned away.She walked with him.He felt that she too wanted to be rid of him.

“Is there nothing I can do at all?”he asked.

“You can send him some paints,”she said.“There is nothing else he wants.”

“Can he paint still?”

“He is painting the walls of the house.”

“This is a terrible life for you, my poor child.”

Then at last she smiled, and there was in her eyes a look of superhuman love. Dr.Coutras was startled by it, and amazed.And he was awed.He found nothing to say.

“He is my man,”she said.

“Where is your other child?”he asked.“When I was here last you had two.”

“Yes;it died. We buried it under the mango.”

When Ata had gone with him a little way she said she must turn back. Dr.Coutras surmised she was afraid to go farther in case she met any of the people from the village.He told her again that if she wanted him she had only to send and he would come at once.

庫特拉斯醫(yī)生是位法國老先生,身材高大,體型肥碩,他身體的形狀就像一個巨大的鴨蛋。一對藍色的敏銳的眼睛充滿善意,目光時不時志得意滿地落在便便大腹上。他的臉膛紅彤彤的,頭發(fā)全白,他是一個第一眼就能讓人萌生好感的人。他在一間屋子里接待了我們,這間屋子要是放在法國偏僻小鎮(zhèn)上,可能有一棟房子那么大,屋里的一兩件波斯小擺件看上去怪怪的。他用雙手握住了我的一只手——他的雙手很大——很熱情地打量了我一番,然而在目光中透出了精明。當他和布魯諾船長握手的時候,他禮貌地問候了船長的妻子和孩子們[110]。有好幾分鐘的時間,大家都在寒暄客套,又聊了一些島上的家長里短,以及今年椰子和香草果的收成等,接下來我們提起了這次拜訪的正題。

我現(xiàn)在無法把庫特拉斯醫(yī)生的原話一字一句地復述出來,只能用我自己的話表述了,因為他的講述繪聲繪色,經我一轉述,反而失去了趣味,這是一種遺憾。他的嗓音低沉而洪亮、富有磁性,和他龐大的身軀倒也匹配,語氣語調活靈活現(xiàn),很有戲劇效果。聽他的講述,就像成語所說,惟妙惟肖,甚至比看一場好看的戲劇還要精彩得多。

事情的經過大概是這樣的。庫特拉斯醫(yī)生有一天去塔拉瓦奧看一個生病的老女酋長。他把這個胖老太太描述得繪聲繪色。她躺在一張巨大的床上,抽著香煙,身邊圍著一群黑皮膚的侍從。給她看完病后,他被領進另一間屋子,招待他吃飯——生魚片、煎香蕉、小雞,還有一些他搞不清的東西[111],是典型的土生土長當?shù)厝薣112]的飯菜。當他正在吃飯的時候,看見一個年輕的小姑娘眼淚汪汪地被人從門口趕開了。當時他也沒在意,但等他出了門,登上馬車準備回家的時候,又看見了她,就站在不遠的地方。她用一種愁眉苦臉的神情望著他,而且淚水像小溪似的從臉頰滑落。他問旁邊的人她怎么回事。有人告訴他,這姑娘從山上下來的,想請他去給一個生了病的白人看病。他們已經告訴她不能打擾醫(yī)生。他把她叫過來,親自問她想干什么。她告訴他,是愛塔派她來的,愛塔以前在鮮花旅館干過,說“紅胡子”病了。她塞給他一張皺巴巴的報紙,當他打開報紙,發(fā)現(xiàn)里面夾著一張一百法郎的鈔票。

“‘紅胡子’是誰呀?”他問一個路邊站著的人。

那人告訴他,他們這樣叫一個英國人,是個畫家,他和愛塔住在離這里大約七公里的山谷里。從這些人的描述中,他知道了“紅胡子”就是斯特里克蘭。但是去那里只能步行,所以他不可能說去就去,這也是為什么他們要把這小姑娘趕走的原因。

“坦白地說,”醫(yī)生轉向我說道,“我當時很猶豫。我可不愿意在一條很難走的羊腸小道上,去品味顛簸來回十四公里的味道,而且當天晚上我是不可能趕回帕皮提了。再加上我對斯特里克蘭也沒有什么好感。他是一個閑散、沒用的惡棍,寧愿和一個當?shù)氐呐送樱膊幌裎覀冞@些人那樣靠工作為生。我的上帝呀[113],我怎么知道有一天整個世界得出了他是個天才的結論呢?我問小姑娘他是否病得很重,為什么不能到鎮(zhèn)子上找我來看病。我還問她到底他是怎樣的病情。她不回答,我又追問她,也許口吻顯得很生氣,但她只是眼睛盯著地面,又開始哭了起來。然后我只好聳了聳肩。不管怎么說,也許出于醫(yī)生的職責,我只能跑一趟了,我很不高興地吩咐她在前面帶路?!?/p>

當他到達的時候,情緒很明顯變得更糟。他走得滿身大汗,又累又渴。愛塔正在等著他來,沿著小道走出一小段路迎接他。

“在我給任何病人看病之前,先去給我拿點喝的,否則我都渴死了?!彼舐暫暗?,“看在上帝的分上[114],給我拿個椰子來。”

愛塔喊了一聲,一個男孩跑了出來,他三下兩下就爬到了樹上,很快扔下一個熟透的椰子。愛塔在上面開了個洞,醫(yī)生痛痛快快地吸了一氣椰子水。隨后他給自己卷了根香煙,覺得心情好多了。

“好了,告訴我‘紅胡子’在哪兒吧?”他問道。

“他在屋里,正在畫畫呢。我沒告訴他你要來。進去吧,去看看他?!?/p>

“但是,他說過哪兒不舒服嗎?如果他身體好得還能畫畫,他的身體就應該足夠支撐他去塔拉瓦奧找我看病,省得我跑了這該死的一路。該不是覺得我的時間沒他的時間值錢吧?”

愛塔沒有吭聲,但和男孩一起跟著他走向了屋子。帶他來的那個小女孩此時正坐在露臺上,這兒還躺著一個老太太,背對著墻,正在卷當?shù)厝宋募垷煛鬯噶酥搁T,醫(yī)生有點惱火,也好奇為什么他們的行為那么古怪。進了屋門,醫(yī)生發(fā)現(xiàn)斯特里克蘭正在清洗調色板,在畫架上還有一幅畫。斯特里克蘭只穿著帕利歐,正背對著門站著,聽到靴子的響聲后,他轉過身來,滿臉慍色地對著醫(yī)生。他看見醫(yī)生很吃驚,對有人闖入有點生氣。然而,醫(yī)生倒吸了一口涼氣,雙腳像釘子一樣釘在了地板上。他驚得目瞪口呆,這是他完全沒有意料到的,全身被恐懼所籠罩。

“你沒敲門就進來了,”斯特里克蘭說,“有什么我能為你效勞的嗎?”

醫(yī)生回了回神,但是費了很大力氣才能開口說話,他的所有不快都煙消云散了,他感到——哦,對,我不能否認[115]——他覺得心中涌出了無限憐憫。

“我是庫特拉斯醫(yī)生,我在塔拉瓦奧給女酋長看病,愛塔派人找到了我,讓我來給你看看病?!?/p>

“她這個人他媽的是個傻瓜。我就是最近有點疼痛,也有點發(fā)燒,但是沒什么大不了的,很快就過去了。下次有人再去帕皮提的話,我打算讓人給我捎點奎寧來?!?/p>

“你還是自己照照鏡子吧?!?/p>

斯特里克蘭笑著瞟了他一眼,走到掛在墻上的鏡子前。鏡子很廉價,用一個小木框鑲嵌著。

“怎么了?”

“你沒看見你臉上奇怪的變化嗎?你沒看見你的五官都腫脹了起來,這副模樣——叫我怎么描述它呢?——書上叫它‘獅子臉’。我可憐的朋友[116],難道一定要我給你指出來,你患上了一種可怕的疾病嗎?”

“我嗎?”

“當你在鏡子里看你自己時,你看到的是典型的麻風病人的外表?!?/p>

“你是在開玩笑?!彼固乩锟颂m說道。

“我也希望是在開玩笑?!?/p>

“你是打算告訴我,我患上了麻風病嗎?”

“很不幸,這已經是不容置疑的事了?!?/p>

庫特拉斯醫(yī)生給很多病人宣判過死刑,可每次這樣做時他都無法克服心中充滿的恐懼。他覺得這些被判了死刑的病人會把自己和醫(yī)生相比較,想到醫(yī)生身心健康,對生活享有無法估量的特權,他們一定總是會又氣又恨。斯特里克蘭一言不發(fā)地看著他,在他臉上看不出任何感情的變化,但這張臉已經被可惡的疾病折磨得變了形。

“他們知道嗎?”他最后問道,指了指在露臺上的那些人,現(xiàn)在這些人坐在那里,一反往日的熱鬧,出現(xiàn)了非同尋常的、難以理解的沉默。

“這些當?shù)厝藢@個病的癥狀都很了解,”醫(yī)生說道,“他們害怕告訴你?!?/p>

斯特里克蘭向門口走去,并向外張望。在他臉上一定有某種可怕的東西,因為突然之間,他們都放聲大哭,如喪考妣,而且聲音越來越高,哀號聲不斷。斯特里克蘭沒有說話,看了他們一會兒,又重新走回屋里。

“你認為我還能活多久?”

“誰知道呢?有時這種病能存活二十年。如果早一些死,反而是上帝發(fā)了慈悲呢?!?/p>

斯特里克蘭走到畫架前,若有所思地看著佇立在那兒的那幅畫。

“你走了很長的一段路才來到這里。帶來重要消息的人應該得到回報,這是恰如其分的。把這幅畫拿走吧,現(xiàn)在它對你來說什么都不是,但是可能有那么一天,你會很高興能夠擁有它。”

庫特拉斯醫(yī)生推辭說,他來這兒不需要報酬,他已經把那一百法郎退還給了愛塔,但是斯特里克蘭堅持讓他收下這幅畫。隨后,他們倆一起出門來到露臺。那些當?shù)厝说某槠暩訁柡α恕?/p>

“安靜,女人,擦干你的眼淚,”斯特里克蘭對著愛塔說,“沒有什么大不了的,我很快就會離開你了?!?/p>

“他們不會把你弄走吧?”她喊道。

那個時候,在群島上對麻風病病人還沒有嚴格的隔離措施,如果病人自己愿意,他們可以自由活動。

“我將要到大山里面去。”斯特里克蘭說道。

愛塔站起身,臉沖著他。

“如果別人選擇離開,讓他們走好了,可是我不會離開你的,你是我的男人,我是你的女人,如果你離開了我,我會吊死在屋后的那個大樹上。我對上帝發(fā)誓,我說到做到?!?/p>

她說這話的時候,語氣中有種不屈不撓的倔強勁兒。她已經不再是那個馴服、軟弱的土著小姑娘了,而是一個意志堅定的女人,已經發(fā)生了脫胎換骨的變化。

“為什么你要跟我待在一起呢?你可以回到帕皮提去,很快你就能找到另一個白人做丈夫。家里的這個老太太可以照料孩子們,而且蒂亞瑞看到你回去會很高興的?!?/p>

“你是我的男人,我是你的女人。無論你去哪兒,我都跟著你?!?/p>

片刻之間,斯特里克蘭的鐵石心腸被動搖和軟化了,眼睛里噙著淚,慢慢地順著臉頰流了下來。過了一會兒,他又露出了他慣有的那種譏諷的微笑。

“女人真是奇怪的動物。”他對庫特斯拉醫(yī)生說道,“你可以像狗一樣對待她們,你可以鞭打她們直到你的胳膊變酸,但她們仍然愛著你?!彼柫寺柤绨颍爱斎涣?,基督教認為她們也是有靈魂的,這真是荒唐透頂?shù)漠愊胩扉_。”

“你在跟醫(yī)生說些什么呢?”愛塔疑慮重重地問道,“你不會離開吧?”

“如果你不愿意讓我走,我就留下吧,可憐的孩子。”

愛塔一下子在他面前跪倒了,用雙臂環(huán)抱著他的雙腿,親吻著它們。斯特里克蘭看著庫特拉斯醫(yī)生,微微笑了一下。

“到了最后,她們還是會抓住你,在她們的手掌心中你是無力掙脫的。無論是白皮膚還是棕色皮膚的女人,她們全都一個樣?!?/p>

庫特拉斯醫(yī)生覺得,在這場可怕的災難面前,說些表示遺憾的話反而是荒唐的,于是他打算告辭了。斯特里克蘭把塔內,那個摘椰子的男孩叫過來,讓他給醫(yī)生帶路送回村里。庫特拉斯醫(yī)生停頓了一會兒,然后好像自言自語似的對我說道:

“我不喜歡他,我已經告訴過你,我對他沒有什么好感。但是當我慢慢走在回塔拉瓦奧的路上,也不由得對他堅忍的勇氣產生了欽佩之情。面對著也許是人類最可怕的疾病,他還能保持鎮(zhèn)定和勇敢。當塔內跟我分手時,我告訴他,我會派人送些藥過去,可能多少會有些用場。但是我不指望斯特里克蘭會高興服用這些藥,當然,更不奢望他服用后病情能有好轉。我還讓小男孩給愛塔捎個了信,無論什么時候她派人來找我,我都會去的。生活是艱辛的,造化有時竟以折磨自己的兒女取樂。帶著一種沉重的心情,我駕車回到了我在帕皮提溫暖舒適的家。”

有很長一段時間,我們誰都沒有說話。

“但是愛塔后來并沒有派人來找過我,”終于醫(yī)生又繼續(xù)開口說了下去,“也碰巧我有很久沒有再去島的那個地區(qū)了,所以也沒有斯特里克蘭的消息。有那么一兩次我聽說愛塔為了買一些畫畫的材料來帕皮提,但是我都沒有碰到過她。我再次去塔拉瓦奧之前,已經有兩年多的時間過去了,我又一次給那位上了年紀的女酋長看過病后,我問他們是否聽說了斯特里克蘭的任何消息。這個時候,他得麻風病的消息已經傳遍了各處。起初,是那個小男孩塔內離開那所房子,后來又過了一小段時間,那個老太太和她的孫女也離開了。那里就剩下斯特里克蘭和愛塔,以及他們的孩子了。沒人敢靠近他們的種植園。因為,正如你所知,當?shù)厝藢@種病有種真切的恐懼,而且,要是在過去,只要發(fā)現(xiàn)有人得了這種病,病人都會被殺死。但有時,村里的男孩子們爬上小山丘的時候,會看見那個滿臉大紅胡子的白人也在山丘上溜達。孩子們會嚇得四下逃散。有時,愛塔會趁著夜色來到村子里,敲開雜貨店的門,購買各種她急需的東西。她清楚當?shù)卮迕窨创拖窨创固乩锟颂m一樣充滿可怕的厭惡,所以愛塔都躲著他們走。有一次,有幾個女人壯起膽子走到比平常更靠近種植園的地方,正瞅見她在小溪中洗衣服,她們向她扔石頭。從那以后,村民們讓開雜貨店的人給愛塔捎口信:如果她再用那條小溪的話,村里的男人們會去把她的房屋燒掉?!?/p>

“這些畜生?!蔽艺f道。

“別這么說,我親愛的先生[117],人都一樣。恐懼使他們變得殘忍……我決定去看看斯特里克蘭,當我給女酋長看完病后,我讓一個男孩給我指了路,但沒人肯陪我一道去,我只好一個人硬著頭皮摸索前行了?!?/p>

當庫特拉斯醫(yī)生到達種植園的時候,一種不安的情緒籠罩在心頭。雖然走路走得很熱,但不禁打了個寒戰(zhàn)。在空氣中有種充滿敵意的東西,讓他遲疑著裹足不前,而且他覺得看不見的力量正擋在路中間,無形的手似乎正在把他往回拽?,F(xiàn)在沒人敢靠近來撿拾椰子,所以椰子已經在地上腐爛了,每一處都是荒涼破敗的景象。灌木叢正在蠶食著平整出來的土地,看上去好像原始森林很快就會重新占領這塊土地,而這塊土地肯定是以前費了九牛二虎之力才開墾出來的。他隱隱約約感覺到,這里就是痛苦的居留地。當他接近這所房屋時,他被一陣超凡脫俗的沉寂所震懾。起初他以為房子已經被廢棄了,可緊接著他看見了愛塔。她正盤腿坐在傾斜的、作為廚房用的小棚子里,眼睛盯著鍋里煮著的一大堆東西,在她身旁,一個小男孩正在泥土中靜靜地玩著。當她看見醫(yī)生時,并未露出微笑。

“我來看看斯特里克蘭?!彼f道。

“我去告訴他一聲。”

她走向房屋,上了幾層通向露臺的臺階,然后進了屋里。庫特拉斯醫(yī)生跟著她,但是在屋外面等她的手勢招呼再進屋里。當她開門的時候,他聞見了一股腥甜氣味,在麻風病人居住的地區(qū)總是有這種令人作嘔的氣味。他聽見她在說話,緊接著又聽到了斯特里克蘭的回答,但是他都快認不出這個聲音了,它變得沙啞和模糊不清。庫特拉斯醫(yī)生揚了一下眉毛,他判斷疾病已經侵襲到了病人的聲帶。隨后,愛塔出來了。

“他不想見你,你只好走了?!?/p>

庫特拉斯醫(yī)生堅持要見一下斯特里克蘭,但她不讓他進屋。庫特拉斯醫(yī)生聳了聳肩,考慮了一會兒,就轉身走開了。她跟他一道走了出來,他覺得愛塔也想讓他趕緊離開。

“難道壓根就沒有什么需要我?guī)兔Φ膯??”他問道?/p>

“你可以給他送一些顏料來,”她說,“別的他就不需要什么了?!?/p>

“他還能畫畫呀?”

“他正在屋里的墻壁上畫畫呢。”

“對你來說,生活太可怕了,我可憐的孩子。”

這時,她終于露出了笑容,在她的眼睛里有一種超越了人類之愛的光輝。庫特拉斯醫(yī)生開始被它嚇了一跳,后來很吃驚,進而又產生了敬畏之情。他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己說不出話來。

“他是我男人?!彼f道。

“你另一個孩子在哪兒?”他問道,“我上次來這兒的時候,你有兩個孩子的?!?/p>

“是的。另一個孩子死了,我們把孩子埋葬在那棵杧果樹下面了。”

愛塔陪他走了一小段路,她說她必須回去了。庫特拉斯醫(yī)生明白她是怕走得太遠,萬一碰上從村里出來的人就麻煩了。他又一次告訴她,如果她需要他,只需派人送個口信,他立刻就會來的。

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