The next week was dreadful. Stroeve went twice a day to the hospital to inquire after his wife, who still declined to see him;and came away at frst relieved and hopeful because he was told that she seemed to be growing better, and then in despair because, the complication which the doctor had feared having ensued, recovery was impossible.The nurse was pitiful to his distress, but she had little to say that could console him.The poor woman lay quite still, refusing to speak, with her eyes intent, as though she watched for the coming of death.It could now be only the question of a day or two;and when, late one evening, Stroeve came to see me I knew it was to tell me she was dead.He was absolutely exhausted.His volubility had left him at last, and he sank down wearily on my sofa.I felt that no words of condolence availed, and I let him lie there quietly.I feared he would think it heartless if I read, so I sat by the window, smoking a pipe, till he felt inclined to speak.
“You've been very kind to me,”he said at last.“Everyone's been very kind.”
“Nonsense,”I said, a little embarrassed.
“At the hospital they told me I might wait. They gave me a chair, and I sat outside the door.When she became unconscious they said I might go in.Her mouth and chin were all burnt by the acid.It was awful to see her lovely skin all wounded.She died very peacefully, so that I didn't know she was dead till the sister told me.”
He was too tired to weep. He lay on his back limply, as though all the strength had gone out of his limbs, and presently I saw that he had fallen asleep.It was the frst natural sleep he had had for a week.Nature, sometimes so cruel, is sometimes merciful.I covered him and turned down the light.In the morning when I awoke he was still asleep.He had not moved.His gold-rimmed spectacles were still on his nose.
接下來的一周也很糟糕,斯特羅伊夫一天要去兩次醫(yī)院打聽他妻子的情況,她仍然拒絕見他。開始的時候他能松一口氣,滿懷希望地離開,因為院方告訴他,她的病情似乎正在好轉(zhuǎn)??呻S后,他又陷入絕望之中,因為醫(yī)生最擔心的并發(fā)癥果然發(fā)生了,恢復的希望變得渺茫。那位護士雖然對他的痛苦充滿同情,但也沒有什么話可以安慰他。那個可憐的女人安靜地躺著,不想說話,眼睛直勾勾的,好像她正在看著即將到來的死神,她可能也就剩一兩天的時間了。一天晚上,已經(jīng)不早了,斯特羅伊夫來找我,我心里清楚他是要告訴我她的死訊。他已經(jīng)完全垮了,往日滔滔不絕的饒舌終于消失得無影無蹤,一句話也不說,疲憊地一屁股坐到了沙發(fā)上。我覺得也找不出什么安慰的話來,于是我讓他安靜地倒在沙發(fā)上。如果我這時找本書去看,我怕他誤會我沒心沒肺,所以我坐在窗子前,點著了煙斗,直到他想開口說話。
“你對我真的很好,”他終于開腔了,“大家對我都很好?!?/p>
“別瞎說了?!蔽矣悬c尷尬地說道。
“在醫(yī)院里,他們告訴我可以在那兒等,還給了我把椅子,我就坐在病房門外,當她已經(jīng)失去意識的時候,他們說我可以進去了。她的嘴和下巴都被草酸燒壞了??吹剿蓯鄣钠つw上疤痕累累真是件可怕的事情。她死得很安詳,所以直到護士告訴我,我才知道她已經(jīng)死了?!?/p>
他實在是太累,連哭泣的力氣都沒有了。他四肢無力地仰面躺著,好像所有的力量都從他的軀體中抽干了,一會兒工夫就沉沉地睡著了,這還是他一周以來第一次自然的睡眠。造化有時殘酷,有時又憐憫。我給他蓋上被子,關(guān)了燈。清晨,當我醒來的時候,他仍然在睡著。他一夜都沒翻身,金邊眼鏡還架在他的鼻梁上。
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