THE TOPSY-TURVY WORLD
1. I don't know why, but one day it was settled that everything should be changed.
The fishes flew through the air like swarms of butterflies; in place of linnets [1] and nightingales [2] , the sharks [3] and whales [4] sang sweet songs.
The tiny birds swam on the bosom [5] of the waters; it was glorious [6] to see the dives they made.
A donkey in the porch of an inn [7] played on a cornet [8] ; while another, who was in a good position, came out of a cook-shop picking his teeth with a sword.
2. Now it is said that a boy who lived at that time, and whose name was Patrick, had a bad habit of ill-treating animals. His parents and masters scolded him in vain, and from time to time even gave him a flogging; but it did not make the boy any better.
3. Whenever he saw an ass tied to a fence he untied it and rode it for a good while, hitting it hard to make it trot.
4. When he met a dog, the least that he did was to strike it so as to make it run away with its tail between its legs.
More than one cat he chased about after having tied a tin to its tail. In short, he was a cruel little fellow, as you will no doubt agree.
5. But now all things were changed. On waking up one morning he found, at the head of his bed, one of his dogs, which gave him a push, jumped into his bed, and said—
Little friend, you have got to clean my boots.
And as the boy did not rise, the dog hit him two blows which made him get up quickly.
6. What was his surprise to notice that he could only go on his hands and feet!
He wished to speak, but a bark came from his lips; he tried to bite the dog, and the latter rained blows upon him.
7 . He rushed out of the house, and found other cruel boys being punished in the same way. In one street two boys were pulling a little carriage, and in it were riding the two goats that used to draw it.
8. Several of those water-carriers who carry their water-skins on a donkey which they almost kill by blows, went about themselves bent down under the load; and they got a blow each time they sucked their thumbs.
9. Their former slaves walked on two feet behind them, saying, "Gee up, donkey, you are more stupid than a post."
10. Patrick went on his way—on all fours, of course—when, on crossing a street, he met a schoolmate, to whom he barked—
Terence! Have you seen what has happened to us?
Yes, of course, I see it! For am I not changed into a poodle [9] ?
Here you see me in a fix; I don't know where to hide myself so that the old dogs won't be able to punish me for the tricks I used to play on them when I was a person.
11. At this moment a noise was heard, and on turning round they saw a tramcar drawn by some of those drivers who are always grumbling; and on the platform was a mule [10] with a cocked hat, driving the car, which was full of all kinds of animals.
12. "My boy," said Patrick to Terence, "do you know that looks more like Noah's Ark than a tramcar?"
13. He had hardly said these words when he felt himself seized, and his blouse was pulled out at the back, and to the tail of it was tied a tin can.
14. He turned his head, and then he saw all the dogs which he used to hurt. They were now ready to make Patrick run with the can tied to his tail. Two kicks made him start running as fast as he could. He had a long and painful race.
15. At last he came to a wood, where he found shelter in the thick bushes. At night he crept out to seek for some food.
16. In a cottage he found two doves, which, on seeing him so thin, gave him something to eat. A swallow gently looked after him, and the lullaby of its song made the poor boy sleep soundly.
17. A feeling of rest crept into his little body. He saw in his dreams a cloud of rose and gold, and in it the white figure of an angel, which stood at his side, and in a sweet voice said to him—
18. "Patrick, your sufferings are ended; let what you have seen be a warning to you, and try to be good to everybody, even dumb animals."
19. The boy woke up, looked round him, and found himself in his own bed; and soon his mother came in to tell him that it was now time to go to school.
20. Patrick dressed himself quickly, noticing, full of surprise, that he went on two legs. He had expected to go on all fours!
* * *
[1] linnet: A small singing bird.
[2] nightingale: A small bird that sings at night.
[3] shark: A large man-eating fish.
[4] whale: The largest of sea animals.
[5] bosom: The breast.
[6] glorious: Grand; very pleasing.
[7] inn: Hotel.
[8] cornet: A sort of trumpet.
[9] poodle: A small dog with long silky hair.
[10] mule: An animal that is part horse and part donkey.
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