Max, you will not believe what just came addressed to you.
麥克斯,你不會相信是誰寄信來了。
Let me explain. I'm not a Scientologist.
我先解釋下,我不是山達(dá)基教徒。
I just went that one time because I heard some rich guy was looking for a wife.
我只去過那一次,因?yàn)槲衣犝f有個有錢人在征婚。
No, we've been pre-approved for a credit card.
不是啦,我們申請的信用卡被預(yù)先核準(zhǔn)了。
What? How the hell did we get pre-approved?
什么,我們怎么會被預(yù)先核準(zhǔn)呢?
It says all we have to do is go online and apply and we can be approved in under two minutes.
上面說我們只要上網(wǎng)申請,兩分鐘內(nèi)就能獲批。
Slow down, Quasimodo. I can't have a credit card.
別著急,鐘樓怪人。我不能有信用卡。
Someone gave me a bag of chips Ahoy cookies once and I ate the entire thing without breathing.
有人給了我一包趣多多餅干,我一口氣全吃光了。
Well, you're not a child anymore. You have more discipline.
你又不是小孩子了。你有自控能力。
The cookies were yesterday. Okay, what is that thing? What is that spinning wheel?
這是昨天的事。那是什么,那個旋轉(zhuǎn)的輪子是什么意思?
It's just processing our application.
那是在處理我們的申請
No, it's not. It's finding out everything about us.
不,不是的。它是在查出我們的一切。
Now it's finding out your dad stole millions of dollars.
這一秒它查出你父親偷了數(shù)百萬美元。
Now it's finding out I got fired from eight Dairy Queens.
這一秒它查出我被八家DQ冰淇淋店解雇過。
Now it's finding out why I got fired from eight dairy queens.
這一秒它查出我被八家DQ店解雇的原因。
Oh, my god. Max, we're approved. We've just been approved.
天啊,麥克斯,我們通過了。我們的申請通過了。
What? What is wrong with them? Does dairy queen report nothing?
搞毛啊,他們有病嗎?難道DQ店毛都沒舉報(bào)嗎?
Get back on there and disapprove us.
重新回去查,拒絕我們的申請
Okay. Calm down. We need this card for our business.
好了,冷靜。為了事業(yè),我們需要這張卡。
All we have to do is communicate with each other about every purchase, you know? Keep an open dialogue.
我們只需如實(shí)與對方溝通每一筆花銷就行了。開誠布公。
So, opening dialogue. For our business,I would like a pair of Louboutins.
所以,開誠布公地說。出于商業(yè)需要,我要買雙美鞋。
Opening dialogue. No. And I felt stupid miming that. I hate the arts.
開誠布公地說,不行。這種模仿啞劇的對話蠢爆了,我討厭藝術(shù)。
Look, you can't get everything you want. I would like a box of lizards.
你不能想要什么,就買什么。我還想要一盒子蜥蜴呢。
Love lizards, always have, but you don't see me putting that on a credit card.
我一直很喜歡蜥蜴,但我也沒有要用信用卡買啊。
I need a new pair of shoes for business meetings.
我是為了商業(yè)洽談才買新鞋子的
You know what they say, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have".
俗話說得好,"佛要金裝,人要衣裝"。
Okay, fine. If you're getting the shoes, then I'm getting what I want.
好吧,如果你要買美鞋,那我也要買。
I hope you're happy with an apartment full of lizards and lipstick.
希望你不會介意一屋子全是蜥蜴和唇膏。
Also, some of those lizards will be wearing lipstick.
并且,還會有涂著唇膏的蜥蜴喲。
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