英語美文朗讀 第526期 Be in love with the process

For most of my adolescence and young adulthood, I fantasized about being a musician, a rock star, in particular. Any badass guitar song I heard, I would always close my eyes and envision myself up on stage playing it to the screams of the crowd, people absolutely losing their minds to my sweet finger-noodling.

 

從孩提時(shí)代到青年時(shí)代，大多數(shù)時(shí)候，我都夢想成為一個(gè)音樂家，尤其是一個(gè)搖滾明星。每當(dāng)聽到勁爆的吉他音樂，我就會(huì)閉上眼睛，想象自己就站在舞臺(tái)上演奏，臺(tái)下的觀眾不停尖叫，他們沉醉在我指尖的美妙旋律里。

 

This fantasy could keep me occupied for hours on end. The fantasizing continued up through college, even after I dropped out of music school and stopped playing seriously. But even then, it was never a question of if I'd ever be up playing in front of screaming crowds, but when.

這樣的白日夢，我會(huì)做上好幾個(gè)小時(shí)。這個(gè)夢想就這樣陪伴著我，一直到了大學(xué)，甚至到了從音樂學(xué)校輟學(xué)、并徹底放棄演奏音樂時(shí)，它都還在我心中。但是，在那時(shí)候，問題并不在于我“是否”能實(shí)現(xiàn)登臺(tái)的夢想，而在于“何時(shí)”能實(shí)現(xiàn)。

 

I was biding my time before I could invest the proper amount of time and effort into getting out there and making it work. First, I needed to finish school. Then, I needed to make money. Then, I needed to find the time. Then, and then nothing.

我在努力爭取時(shí)間，投入充足的時(shí)間和努力來實(shí)現(xiàn)夢想。首先，我要完成學(xué)業(yè)。接著，我需要掙錢。然后，我需要找到時(shí)間。然后，然后就沒有然后了。

 

Despite fantasizing about this for over half of my life, the reality never came. And it took me a long time and a lot of negative experiences to finally figure out why. I didn't actually want it. I was in love with the result, the image of me on stage, people cheering, me rocking out, pouring my heart into what I'm playing. But I wasn't in love with the process. And because of that, I failed at it. Repeatedly. Hell, I didn't even try hard enough to fail at it. I hardly tried at all.

盡管這個(gè)夢想陪伴了我大半輩子，但是它從來沒有實(shí)現(xiàn)過。經(jīng)過歲月的洗禮，人生的磨難，我才知道，為什么我的夢想沒有實(shí)現(xiàn)。我，并不是真的想要實(shí)現(xiàn)它。我很喜歡那個(gè)結(jié)果，自己站在舞臺(tái)上的樣子，人們?yōu)槲覛g呼，我如癡如狂地演奏，全心全意投入音樂中。但是，我不喜歡逐夢的過程。因此，我失敗了，一次又一次地失敗了。就算是爭取失敗，我也沒能認(rèn)真爭取過，我根本就沒去嘗試過。

 

The daily drudgery of practicing, the logistics of finding a group and rehearsing, the pain of finding gigs and actually getting people to show up and give a sh*t, the broken strings, the blown tube amp, hauling 40 pounds of gear to and from rehearsals with no car. It's a mountain of a dream and a mile-high climb to the top. And what it took me a long time to discover is that I didn't like to climb much. I just liked to imagine the top.

日復(fù)一日練習(xí)的枯燥，找到志同道合者一起排練的辛勞，尋找演出機(jī)會(huì)的痛苦，做好宣傳讓人們來認(rèn)真看演奏的困難，彈到斷掉的吉他弦，壞掉的樂器，在沒有車的情況下把重達(dá)40磅的器材搬來搬去……夢想像山一樣高，要爬很久才能到頂。很久之后，我才發(fā)現(xiàn)，我不喜歡攀登的過程，我只喜歡頂端的風(fēng)景。

 

Our culture would tell me that I've somehow failed myself, that I'm a quitter or a loser. Self-help would say that I either wasn't courageous enough, determined enough or I didn't believe in myself enough. The entrepreneurial/start-up crowd would tell me that I chickened out on my dream and gave in to my conventional social conditioning. I'd be told to do affirmations or join a mastermind group or manifest or something.

社會(huì)文化會(huì)告訴我，我失敗了，我半途而廢，我是個(gè)失敗者。我的內(nèi)心會(huì)告訴我，我不夠勇敢，不夠堅(jiān)定，或者我不夠相信自己。創(chuàng)業(yè)圈的人會(huì)告訴我，在夢想面前，我臨陣脫逃，我向社會(huì)傳統(tǒng)屈服了。人們會(huì)告訴我，要肯定自己，加入聰明人的隊(duì)伍，證明自己。

 

But the truth is far less interesting than that. I thought I wanted something, but it turns out I didn't. End of story. I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love not with the fight but only the victory. And life doesn't work that way.

然而，事實(shí)可沒那么有趣。我以為自己想擁有某個(gè)東西，但是，事實(shí)上，我并不想擁有它，就這樣。我想要回報(bào)，卻不想要努力。我想要結(jié)果，但不想要過程。我只對勝利感興趣，卻對奮斗過程不感興趣。然而，人生并不是這樣的。

 

Who you are is defined by the values you are willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get in good shape. People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who move up it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainty of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it.

你是什么樣的人，取決于你愿意為什么樣的價(jià)值觀而奮斗。那些享受健身過程中的努力的人，就是那些身材很棒的人。那些熱愛工作，熱愛晉升制度的人，就是那些不斷晉升的人。那喜歡壓力，喜歡不確定感的人，最終會(huì)變成活出精彩，取得成就的人。