《柯南脫口秀》第21期:喜歡洛杉磯

So much to talk about.First of all,I know you are just a new york .I am,New york! 很多可以聊的 首先我知道你是個地道的紐約客 我是的 紐約萬歲

But you're in los angeles now?How are you it?How do you like L.A? 但是你現(xiàn)在住在洛杉磯 你喜歡這里嗎 你喜歡洛杉磯嗎

I'll tell you something about L.A. L.A is . 我告訴你洛杉磯怎么樣 洛杉磯太棒了

You can do anything in this town,except make a left turn.I mean that's it. 你可以在這座城市做任何事 除了左拐 就是這樣

If it's on the left,don't even look at it.You're never gonna get there. 就算在路左邊 也別看 你永遠也到不了那里

Doesn't matter what it is.audition,jobs family.I'm sorry.You should have been on the right . 不管那邊有什么 面試 工作 家人 抱歉 你們應(yīng)該在路右邊的

All right,you turned 50 earlier this year,is that right?How does it feel? 好的 你今年初剛滿五十歲 對嗎 感覺如何

Well,you see that in the ? 你感受到觀眾里的恐懼了嗎

Well,these are my big years,I'll tell you that right now. 我得吃降血脂藥了 我可以現(xiàn)在就告訴你

I being 50 be kind of like,you know what? 我以為到了五十歲 你猜怎么著

Who ?You don't have to work out. 沒人在乎 你不用健身

You can just sit in the rocking chair listening to like a scanner and wait to .you know. 你可以坐在搖椅上 聽著警用頻道等死 你懂嗎

But now it's extreme,you've to like kayaking,have you kayak, 但是現(xiàn)在很極端 你得劃皮艇 你劃過皮艇嗎

never gone kayak.Ok,let me tell you something about kayaking. 從沒有過 我告訴你一件關(guān)于皮艇的事

kayaking is the unicycle of the sea.It's so . 皮艇相當于海上獨輪車 太無聊了 

Am I right? Have you ever a guy look like he's having a good time when he's kayaking?No. 我說的對嗎 你見過劃皮艇的人看起來很開心嗎 沒有過

He always has that look like,if I one friend,I'd be . 他的表情總是在說 如果我有一個 朋友 我就去劃獨木舟了

So no kayaking for you.what about any other sports or other thing? 所以你不劃皮艇 你還能在水中做其他運動嗎

Oh,kayaking is,swimming with .A ride.have you done it?never done it. 除了劃皮艇 還可以和海豚一起游泳 騎海豚 你試過沒有 從沒試過

I don't think I even affort it.I mean honestly I could not it.That's like a 1% thing. 說實話 我都不知道我能不能負擔起 我負擔不起 那是1%的富人的運動

I would have to go for the poor man dolphin ride.You know what that is?No,I don't know. 我只能去玩窮人版騎海豚 你知道那是什么吧 不 我不知道

Bottle of whiskey,baby pool,wet dog. 一瓶威士忌 兒童泳池 落水狗