On this Moment of Science Don and Yael talk about ways we date. D: So, Yael, how did the blind date go?
Y: Not so well. He was one of those "anxious attachment" types.
D: "Anxious attachment" types? I don't think I know about those.
Y: Sure. That's one of the three major psychological patterns that have been identified in adult romantic relationships--at least according to research done at Harvard Medical School and the University of California.
D: What are the other two types?
Y: Well, there are "secure attachment" people. This kind of person tends to show a lot of trust and be willing to compromise. The majority of people fall into this category. "Avoidant attachment" people are afraid of emotional intimacy and often say a lot of bad things about it. "Anxious attachment" people are insecure about relationships in general and tend to try and control other people.
D: Sounds like "secure attachment" is the one to look for.
Y: Interestingly, in a study of over eight thousand people between the ages of fifteen and fifty-four, more "anxious attachment" was found in young people than older people. Researchers have two theories about this. It may be that our younger generation is just more anxious than they used to be--maybe because of other things going on in their lives. Substance abuse, divorce and money worries all seem to steer young people into the "anxious attachment" camp. Or it might be that a lot of people are anxious about love when they are young, and then as they get older they tend to find a stable relationship and take on more of the characteristics of the "secure attachment" folks.
D: That's a hopeful possibility!