All this time I've been doing nothing but sit around and miss that guy.
No.
Yes.
He does not miss me at all.
Allow me to comfort you.
At least you've got your health.
You're supposed to say, "Of course he misses you.
Oh, no, I don't think that's true at all.
This is ridiculous.
Well... perhaps you're obsessively picturing him engaged in drunken coitus with another woman.
Okay, tha-that's great.
You can stop trying to make me feel better now.
Actually, I can't. Before Leonard left, he made me promise that I'd take care of you.
He did? Yes.
Oh, that's really sweet.
Plus, if I do a good job, he said he'd bring me back a sailor's cap.
另外,如果我做的好,他說,他會給我?guī)Щ匾豁斔置?/div>
Now I miss him even more.
現(xiàn)在我更想他了
Well, if it's any consolation, I'm sure Leonard's tormented every moment he's away from your warm embrace and cherry lips.
如果有任何安慰作用的話,我肯定萊納德無時無刻都在思念你溫暖的懷抱和櫻桃般的嘴唇
Thanks.
謝謝
Oh, seriously?
這就可以了?
Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Davis?
打擾了,戴維斯女士
What?
怎么了?
I'd like to apologize for being insensitive.
我想為我之前的遲鈍道歉
And for possibly making penguins seem like jerks, 'cause 99% of them are stand-up guys.
還把企鵝說成混蛋,因為99%的企鵝都坦坦蕩蕩的
Forget about it.
不用在意
You know, you-you and I, you and I have a lot in common.
你知道,我和你有很多共同點
Is that right?
真的嗎?
Oh, yes, I-I, too, am in the throes of heartbreak.
嗯,是的,我也有心痛的時候
Okay, fine, I'll tell you about it.
好吧好吧,我告訴你
Here is a hot beverage to comfort you.
喝一點熱飲,安慰下自己
It's in a to-go cup.
裝在外賣的杯子里
Make of that what you will.
你想帶走喝也行
Come on. It's still early.
現(xiàn)在還太早了
Let's do something.
咱們找點事兒做吧
Well, I have been toying around with an idea for 4-D chess.
我一直想玩4D的國際象棋
How about we just talk?
我們就說說話怎么樣?
All right.
好吧
In 4-D chess... No.
4D象棋呀... 停!
Come on, let's talk about our lives.
拜托,聊聊我們自己嘛
Tell me something about you I don't know.
告訴我一件關于你的,而我不知道的事情
I own nine pairs of pants.
我有九條褲子
Okay, that-that's a good start, but I was thinking maybe something
這個頭起得...挺好,但我覺得你可以說說
a little more personal.
更私人一點兒的事情
I see. Hmm.
我懂了
I own nine pairs of underpants.
我有九條內(nèi)褲
How about I go first?
不如我先說吧
But I don't want to know how many underpants you own.
可我不想知道你有多少條內(nèi)褲
Although, based on the floor of your bedroom, I'd say it's a thousand.
不過,根據(jù)你臥室的地面情況看,應該有1000條
Okay, look, here's something people do not know about me.
我要跟你說一件其他人都不知道的我的事
When I first moved out to L.A., I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie about a killer gorilla.
我剛來洛杉磯那會兒,演了一部關于殺人大猩猩的小成本恐怖電影,我在那里面裸上身出鏡!
Ugh! After I did it, I felt so ashamed.
天,演完我就覺得好丟臉
Thankfully, that thing never came out.
不過還好,那部電影根本就沒上映
I've seen that.
我看過哎
Yeah. Serial Apeist.
叫"連環(huán)殺人猩"嘛
Howard found it online the day we met you.
見到你的第一天, Howard就上網(wǎng)找到了
Oh, God...
天...
And it was literally the moment you walked out the door.
而且是你剛走出門他就搜到了
But I see the type of personal revelations you're going for.
不過我現(xiàn)在了解你想讓我說什么了
Okay, here's one I thought I'd take to the grave.
聽好,我要說一件我以為會帶進墳墓的事
Okay.
嗯
A while back, YouTube changed its user interface from a star-based rating system to a thumbs-up rating system.
不久前,YouTube把它用戶界面的評分系統(tǒng)從打星改成了點贊
I tell people I'm okay with it, but I'm really not.
我跟人說我覺得還行,但其實一點都不行
That's your big revelation?
這就是你的隱私大揭秘?
Yes.
是的
Whew! I feel ten pounds lighter.
呼!整個人都輕松了好多
Okay, you know what? I give up.
好吧,我放棄治療
I'm going to bed.
睡覺去了
Here's something else you don't know about me: you just hurt my feelings.
再跟你說一個你不知道的:你剛才傷害到我了
What did I do?
我怎么你了嗎?
I opened up and shared something deeply upsetting to me, and you treated it as if it were nothing.
我打開心靈跟你分享,讓我心煩意亂的事,可你卻毫不在意
I-I didn't think it was a big deal.
我...我覺得那根本不是個事兒啊
It is to me; that's the point.
對我來說是的!這是重點!
Sheldon, you are right. Sheldon I'm really sorry.
你說得對,非常抱歉
I should've known better.
我應該更理解你的
Your apology is accepted.
我接受你的道歉
Thank you.
謝謝~
How about a hug?
抱一個吧?
How about a hearty handshake?
還是親切地握個手吧
Come on.
別這樣嘛
Now I know how you felt getting mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla.
現(xiàn)在我知道你被那只性欲旺盛的大猩猩毆打的感受了
Good night.
晚安
Mm-hmm.
嗯哼~
It was rather flattering to have strangers send us drinks.
其實陌生人請我們喝酒,我心里還是很美的
Yeah, that felt nice.
是啊,好開心的
Maybe tomorrow morning we put on some hot pants and see if we can score us some free omelets.
明天早上我們穿上熱褲,說不定就能吃到免費的煎蛋餅了
So, hypothetically, if-if we were to have gone with them, which one would you have picked?
假設我們昨天真的和他們約會你會選哪一個?
I think I would have gone with the short one with the goofy haircut.
我覺得我會和發(fā)型很挫人又矮的那個約會
Oh, good, 'cause I liked the tall thin one.
正好誒,我喜歡高高瘦瘦的那個
He seemed intelligent, kind of a loner, maybe a little sexually inexperienced, like I'd have to teach him a thing or two.
他看著很聰明,有點不合群,可能在那個方面還沒什么經(jīng)驗,得讓我教教他的樣子
Not my guy.
我那個就不是這樣
I caught him staring at my rack.
我看到他一直盯著我的胸部看
It'd be nice to be with a man who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan.
我男朋友要是知道我羊毛衫下面有什么好貨該多好
FYI, it's another cardigan.
偷偷告訴你,其實是另一件羊毛衫
Your short sexed-up guy kind of sounds like Howard.
你選的性欲旺盛的小個子聽著好像霍華德
Your brainy virgin kind of sounds like Sheldon.
你那個聰明的處男好像謝爾頓...
Good night. Night.
快洗洗睡了, 晚安
All right, Dr. Koothrappali, it's been nice talking to you, but I need to go home and relieve my babysitter.
庫斯拉帕里博士,很高興和你聊天,但我真的得回家讓保姆歇一會兒了
Yeah, I can relate to being a single parent.
我很能體會單親媽媽的感受
I have a dog.
我養(yǎng)了只狗
Yeah, it's exactly the same thing.
是啊,一樣一樣的
Good night.
晚安
Mrs. Davis...
戴維斯女士
I, uh, I must confess, I came here tonight in a futile attempt to pick up some lonely postdoc,
我... 我承認,今晚我來這兒是想泡到一位寂寞的博士后,但失敗了
but instead I got to connect with you at a human level.
但我卻和你像朋友一樣交流
That's a much better evening.
這樣的夜晚更美好
You're a lovely person.
你是個很好的人
Are you hitting on me?
你是在泡我嗎?
No, no, no, that would be crazy!
沒有沒有,這太瘋狂了
I mean, if I were hitting on you, you'd know it 'cause you'd feel uncomfortable and a little sad for me.
我是說,要是我想泡你,你肯定會知道,因為你會感到全身不舒服,并為我感到悲哀
You're sweet.
你是個好人
Good night, Dr. Koothrappali.
晚安,庫斯拉帕里博士
Good night.
晚安
Looks like she accepted your apology.
她好像已經(jīng)接受你的道歉了
And then some. I think we had a moment.
而且我覺得我們對彼此有小動心哦
Oh, please, you did not have a moment.
拜托,肯定沒有
Who died and made you king of moments?
憑什么你來規(guī)定別人有沒有動過心的?!
Okay, fine. Let's say there was a moment.
好吧,就當剛才你們動心了
There was. There wasn't.
真的有, 沒有
But... But even if there was, what are you gonna do about it?
但是... 就算有,你又能怎么樣呢?
I will slowly seduce her until she falls helpless into my bed,
我會慢慢勾引她,直到她無力地癱倒在我的床上
hungry for the pleasure only I can give her.
饑渴地尋求只有我才能給與她的快感
So nothing. No, not a thing.
所以就是沒有, 是,一點也沒有
I'm so glad the police finally caught
警察終于抓到了那只基因變種的瘋猩猩了
that psychotic genetically engineered ape.
真是太好了
That is my girlfriend! I swear to God!
那是我女朋友!我對天發(fā)誓!
Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!
萊納德!萊納德!萊納德!萊納德!萊納德!萊納德!萊納德!萊納德!