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Well, I must say, Leonard, when I first heard your idea for Giant Jenga, I was skeptical.
萊納德,我不得不承認你一開始提出巨型層層疊的主意時我是持懷疑態(tài)度的
I can't blame you Tiny Twister was a complete bust. No, I was wrong.
這不能怪你上次的迷你版扭扭樂就爛爆了。但我這次錯了
The looming threat of being crushed under a pile of lumber does add a certain spice.
頂著可能會被一堆木頭壓死的風(fēng)險玩讓游戲帶感了不少
I've never felt so alive. Oh, hello, Alex.
連人都精神起來了。你好啊,艾利克斯。
Uh, let me go get you last night's recordings. What recordings?
我去拿昨晚的錄音給你。什么錄音?
Well, you remember when you told me I talk in my sleep?
還記得你跟我說過 我會說夢話嗎
Well, it occurred to me that, like most things I say, it's probably pure gold.
然后我想到夢話跟我平時說的話一樣,含金量也應(yīng)該超高的吧。
So I started recording it all, and now Alex gets to comb through eight hours of what I like to call "Sheldon After Dark."
所以我開始錄音而現(xiàn)在艾利克斯得好好梳理下我稱為"謝家午夜論壇"的八小時長節(jié)目
Hey, Leonard. Hey. Just playing a little Giant Jenga here.
你好嗎,萊納德。好啊。我在玩巨型層層疊呢。
Oh, I know I'm the one who had to buy him the helmet.
我知道啊那頂安全帽就是我買的
So, do you have any plans this weekend?
這周末你有什么安排嗎
Well, most of Saturday's gonna be figuring out where to put this game when we're done.How about you?
周六估計大多數(shù)時間得花在思考這玩具玩完后收哪里,你呢?
Oh, I'm gonna go see Kip Thorne give a lecture on subatomic spacetime.
我要去聽基普?索恩博士的亞原子時空講座
That's his take on John Wheeler's quantum foam.
他會講述對約翰?惠勒的量子泡沫看法
That should be great.
應(yīng)該會很精彩
Well, if you want, you can come with me.
有興趣可以跟我一起去啊
Ah, I'd love to, but I'm supposed to hang out with Penny.
我也想啊 可是我跟佩妮有約了
Well, bring her. Well, she's not really into that kind of stuff.Yeah, okay.
帶上她嘛。她對這類事情沒什么興趣,那好吧。
Well, if you want to hear about the lecture,I can tell you all about it at work, or, you know, over dinner sometime.
那之后你對講座內(nèi)容有興趣我可以上班時跟你說或者... 共進晚餐時跟你說哦
What? Jenga, I win!Oh, come on, that can't be true.
什么?你弄倒啦,我贏了!拜托,才不可能呢?
I did the research Tony the Tiger, Dig'em the Frog, Cap'n Crunch,Toucan Sam, Count Chocula,Trix the Rabbit, Snap, Crackle and Pop.
我真查過了托尼老虎青蛙,克朗奇船長,巨嘴鳥山姆吸餐鬼伯爵,崔克斯兔卜卜米三兄弟
Not one cereal mascot is a girl.
所有谷類早餐吉祥物都是男生
It's a total breakfast sausage fest. Are we done with this?
谷物早餐界完全"基腸""露露"啊。說完了嗎?
Almost Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Sugar Bear and the Honey Nut Cheerio bee,I believe his name is Buzz. Terrific.
快了,紅莓怪人、藍莓鬼、鬼糖糖熊、蜜果圈圈蜂他的名字是叫巴茲(嗡嗡聲)吧。很好很好
Something weird happened and I don't know what to do about it.What's going on?
發(fā)生了一件怪事我不知道該怎么辦。怎么了?
Sheldon's assistant asked me on a date last night.
謝爾頓的助理昨晚約我
How could you do that to me?
你怎么可以這么對我
You know I've been working it with Alex for weeks.
你明知道我泡她好一陣子了
Working it? You can't even talk to her.
你怎么泡人家你連說話都不敢
I talk with my eyes.
我用眼神跟她交流
You look like my little cousin when he's dropping one in his diaper.
我那個小表弟在尿布里拉屎時就這眼神
She knows I have a girlfriend.It's so weird.
她都知道我有女朋友了.真是太神奇了
Oh, my God. You're loving this.To my bones.
天啊,你居然還暗爽。暗爽到爆啊。
I mean, I'm not gonna do anything about it. I love Penny.
我當(dāng)然是不可能會對她下手啦 我愛佩妮
It's just nice to have a young, attractive woman sniffing around the goods.
只是有個年輕貌美的女性對我有意思也很不錯嘛
I both hate you and want to be you.
我又恨你又想當(dāng)你
This is Ryan Gosling all over again.Aw, gentlemen.
瑞恩?高斯林的事又重演了,各位同志
What is on the conversational menu this morning?
今早的聊天話題選項有什么呢
Leonard stole my woman, and he knew full well I was only six to eight months away from making my move.
萊納德?lián)屃宋业逆?,他明明知道我只差六到八個月就要對她展開攻勢了
I didn't steal anyone.
我才沒搶走誰呢
Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk and he loves it.
你的助理明擺著對他有意思他還暗爽
Well, that's not acceptable.I'm her boss.
這樣可不行,我是她的老板
She needs to be solely focused on my needs,not distracted by your pasty,androgynous brand of sexuality.I'm androgynous?
她只能關(guān)注以及滿足我的需求不該被你蒼白無力雌雄難辨的弱雞陽氣吸引。我怎么雌雄難辨了
Oh, please. Look at you with your pouty beestung lips.
拜托哦。你也不看看你那愛撅起的臘腸嘴
What do you guys think I should do?
你們覺得我該怎么回應(yīng)她
I say you tell Alex your heart belongs to Penny,I provide her a shoulder to cry on,
我覺得你應(yīng)該告訴她你只愛佩妮,然后我借肩膀給她哭訴
and then roughly half a year later I give it to her good.
然后差不多半年后 我就能給她"來一發(fā)"了
I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice.
我要感謝你們能這么快就趕過來
Uh, in the past, I've reached out to each of you individually,but I believe my present situation
過去呢,我曾與在座各位有過單獨請益的時刻但這次我覺得這次的情況
requires the collective wisdom of the group,which as you can see from your commemorative Tshirts
需要你們一起共同集思廣益想必你們從紀念T恤上也能看得出
I have dubbed Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies. What is happening?
我標(biāo)注上了謝爾頓·庫伯姐妹顧問團。發(fā)生什么事了?
I need your advice about a delicate workplace situation.
我需要你們?yōu)橐患舾械穆殘鲫P(guān)系給意見
Uh, to protect those involved,I'll be changing their names.Who's involved?
為了保護當(dāng)事人隱私我會替他們?nèi)〖倜?。?dāng)事人有誰?。?/div>
Well, a short, bespectacled colleague of mine who lives in the shadow of his brilliant roommate.
我的一個活在他絕頂聰明的室友光環(huán)之下的四眼雞矮子同事
Let's call this colleague Ricardo ShillyShally.
這叫他"里卡多?謝利沙力"吧
You're talking about Leonard.
你是在說萊納德
No, no, ShillyShally has red hair and, uh, he briefly served in the Mexican Navy.
不不,謝利沙力有一頭紅發(fā)他曾在墨西哥海軍短期服役過
Anyway, despite the fact that he has a girlfriend,ShillyShally has been the recipient of inappropriate workplace flirtations from a young lady.
雖然他已經(jīng)有一個女朋友謝利沙力是遭年輕女性對他做不適宜的職場調(diào)戲的受方
It's your assistant Alex, isn't it? No.
攻方就是你的助理艾利克斯吧?不對。
Not... No. This is Tondelaya Della Ventimiglia.
才不是 是唐德萊婭?德拉?文蒂米利亞
Wait, what the hell's going on with Leonard and Alex?
等等 萊納德跟艾利克斯到底是怎么回事
I'm sorry. Who's talking about Leonard and Alex?
抱歉 誰在說萊納德和艾利克斯啊
Fine. Ricardo and Tondelaya.
好吧 是里卡多和唐德萊婭
Okay, look, it's not really about Ricardo and Tondelaya.
其實我要說的重點不是里卡多和唐德萊婭
It is really about her boss,who doesn't quite know how to handle this situation and could use your advice,
而是唐德萊婭的博士老板他不知道該如何處理這種情況所以需要你們給出主意
which is surprising because Dr. Einstein Von Brainstorm...
這有些反常 因為愛因斯坦?馮?集思廣益博士
He's usually pretty smart about these things.
向來很會處理這種情況
I'm gonna kill her.I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about.
我要殺了她。我相信你沒什么好擔(dān)心的。
Leonard would never cheat on you.She's right.
萊納德絕對不會背叛你。她說得對
But say the word I got a lab full of cocaineaddicted monkeys with nothing to lose.
但只要你開口我有滿滿一實驗室不怕死的毒癮瘋猴隨時聽候差遣
One of them could end up in the backseat of her car.Or her shower.
可以扔一個進她的汽車后座?;蚴撬脑∈?。
Ladies, ladies, please.We're not here to talk about Penny, okay?
女士們,女士們,拜托。我們不是來這里討論佩妮的,好嗎?
We're here to talk about me.Uh, I mean Einstein Von Brainst... Oh, darn it!
我們是來討論我的,我是說愛因斯坦·馮·集思... 我靠
All right, I guess the cat's out of the bag.
好吧 說溜嘴了
Let me explain what's going on Ricardo is really Leonard...
那我就來解釋下發(fā)生了什么事吧里卡多其實是萊納德...
We know what's going on, Sheldon!Well, what should I do?
我們知道發(fā)生了什么事,謝爾頓!那我應(yīng)該怎么做
Well, Alex is your employee.
艾利克斯是你的員工
If she's doing something that's making Leonard uncomfortable,you should talk to her.
如果她做出一些讓萊納德覺得不舒服的事那你應(yīng)該跟她談?wù)?/div>
Oh, no, he's not uncomfortable at all.No, he's loving it.
不,他才沒有不舒服呢。他暗爽死了好嗎
Yeah, he's strutting around like he's fivefootsix.
對啊,他趾高氣昂地好像自己有兩米那么高
What... He's loving it?Sheldon, you need to talk to Alex right away.
什么……他很暗爽?謝爾頓,你得馬上跟艾利克斯談?wù)?/div>
Talk to her? That's all you've got?
談?wù)劸椭挥羞@種建議啊
With a cool name like Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies,I really expected more.
"謝爾頓?庫伯姐妹顧問團"的名字這么牛氣我本來期望很高呢
Give me back the Tshirts. Alex...check my schedule.
把T恤還我。艾利克斯查下我的日程表
What does my afternoon look like? I think it's pretty wide open.
今天下午我有什么安排?我記得好像沒有任何安排
Oh, wait. Here's something at 4:00."Give Alex a talking to"?
慢著,四點有安排。"跟艾利克斯談?wù)?quot;
Well, that snuck up on us, didn't it?Is there a problem?
這安排真是悄無聲息出人意料???有什么問題嗎?
Let's not call it a problem.Let's call it an opportunity.
那其實不叫問題,我們應(yīng)該稱其為"機會"。
To solve a serious problem.What did I do?
一個解決嚴重問題的機會。我做錯什么了?
You don't know? Oh, you poor dear.
你不知道嗎?可憐的小寶貝。
Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice into your brains you don't even know which way is up.
你的卵巢把太多愚蠢分泌物都送到你腦子,害你人都傻了
You made an inappropriate sexual advance towards Dr. Hofstadter. What?
你對霍夫斯塔德博士做出不恰當(dāng)?shù)男云髨D。什么?
I didn't make a sexual advance on anybody.
我沒有對任何人做任何性企圖
Now, there's no need to get defensive.
別這么快就開始激動辯解
I'm not unsympathetic to your plight.
我對你的情況表示同情
My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day.
我的父親過去常說女人就像德州溫暖天氣中的雞蛋沙拉三明治
What? Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.
什么意思?雞蛋(卵子)滿滿誘惑短短(容易壞)
This conversation is making me uncomfortable.
這次談話讓我覺得很不舒服
Yeah, you and me both, sister.
不止你 我也是 妹妹
Now, please understand... I don't hold you responsible for your behavior
現(xiàn)在請你明白你的行為我并不覺得是你的錯,
because, see, from an evolutionary standpoint,you're a slave to your desire to reproduce.
因為從進化的角度看你不過是自身繁殖欲望的奴隸
But during the work day,when you feel possessed by amorous intent,
但在工作時間當(dāng)你覺得自己有求歡的意圖時
may I suggest that you suppress it by leafing through this illustrated book of sexually transmitted diseases?
我能否建議你通過翻閱這本性傳播疾病的繪本來抑制住你的欲望
Let's see here. Oh, yes.Check out this oozy doozy. I have to go.
我們看一下,就這頁。你看看這張小惡心圖片。我要走了。
So does this fellow,but he can't without it burning like hot soup.
這位仁兄也是但他走不了,他那里就跟熱湯那樣燒得慌
Hey, pretty lady.Oh, you seem extra happy. Uh, I guess I am.
嗨,美女。你看起來格外開心啊。應(yīng)該是吧。
Any particular reason why?
有什么特別的原因嗎?
Mm, I don't know, just having a good day.
不知道,就是今天過得還不錯。
This morning Sheldon fell asleep on the way to work, so I got to listen to the radio that was pretty crazy.Anything else?
早上謝爾頓在去上班的路上睡著了所以我有機會聽廣播好瘋狂的一早。還有別的嗎?
I found this quiz online called "Which Star Trek Character Are You?"and it only took me four tries to get Captain Kirk.
我在網(wǎng)上發(fā)現(xiàn)一個小測試名叫"測測你是星際迷航中的誰"我測了四次終于測到柯克船長(角色)
That's great.Oh. It. Was.
很好啊。的確如此。
Well, I'm glad you're having such a great day.
很高興你今天過得這么開心
And the one thing that could make it even better is an evening with my special girl.
還有一件讓我更開心的事就是晚上要跟我特別的姑娘約會
Oh, and who's that?What do you mean?Oh, I just didn't know if you meant me or Alex.
哪一個?。窟@話什么意思?我不知道特別的姑娘是指我還是艾利克斯
Um, why would I mean Alex?
為什么會指艾利克斯
Because I know she hit on you and I know you liked it! What...?
因為我知道她對你有意思而且我還知道你很暗爽!哪里...有
Don't play dumb with me, Ricardo Shilly Shally!I'm missing something.
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