生活大爆炸 第五季:第12集 伯妮抱怨生娃毀媽(上)
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Completely empty box.If you'd like to examine it...
空空如也的盒子 你們可以檢查一下
Mmhmm. Yep.I see nothing in this box but a wasted childhood.
好啊 盒子里除了空虛的童年時(shí)光 空無一物
Little snarky there, cello Lessons.
吐槽過分了吧 學(xué)大提琴的
And we have this completely ordinary cylinder.If you'd like to examine it...
這里還有一個(gè)十分普通的圓筒 你們也可以檢查一下
Ordinary, yet I sense it is dripping with magical potential.
看似普通 不過我感覺到它隱隱散發(fā)的魔力了
Oh, dear Lord.A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader,only to emerge and discover his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.
的冒險(xiǎn)之旅 再出來就發(fā)現(xiàn)家里 赫然變成卡巴萊酒館了(卡巴萊酒館: 有歌舞表演的酒館)
Sheldon, he's just practicing for his cousin's birthday party.
謝爾頓 他是在為他表弟的 生日派對(duì)提前排練啦
As I was saying...empty box, empty cylinder,and... ooh!Voila.
正如我所說 空盒子 空?qǐng)A筒 然后呢 瞧啊
I'm telling you, dude, there's a seat on the Hogwarts Express with your name on it.
我跟你講 哥們 霍格沃茨特快的車廂中 肯定有你的一席之地
This is how you're going to entertain your little cousin and his friends?By lying to them?
娛樂你的小表弟和他朋友嗎 靠蒙騙他們
How is this lying?
這怎么能是騙呢
A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition.This is an ordinary top hat.
魔術(shù)表演本來就是充滿了坑蒙拐騙 這是一頂普通的禮帽哦
You've chosen that card freely.I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister.
這張牌是你隨便抽的哦 我的屁眼里可沒夾著開鎖工具哦
Can't you just enjoy the wonder, Sheldon?Why must you peek behind the curtain? 干嗎一定要窺探揭秘呢 Or up the butt?
你就不能享受一下奇跡的瞬間嗎 謝爾頓 或是窺探人家的屁屁
If we poison the critical thinking faculties of children by telling them that rabbits come out of hats, then we create adults who believe in astrology and homeopathy and that Ryan Reynolds was a better choice for Green Lantern than lovable rogue Nathan Fillion.
跟小朋友說 帽子里變出了兔子 將會(huì)荼毒他們的批判性思維能力 他們成年后會(huì)相信占星術(shù)和順勢療法 導(dǎo)致瑞安·雷諾茲就因此比 賣萌小混混 內(nèi)森·菲利安更適合演《綠燈俠》
Sheldon,he's just gonna do a few magic tricks for some kids.I really don't think they're gonna end up liking the Green Lantern movie.
謝爾頓 他只不過是給孩子們表演一點(diǎn)魔術(shù)而已 不會(huì)害那些孩子長大變成 喜歡雷諾茲版《綠燈俠》的白癡
Don't be so hard on him. It's natural to be a little cranky when you have...a quarter in your ear!
別對(duì)他這么兇嘛 他這么煩躁有情可原 因?yàn)樗?.. 耳朵里有25美分
Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement.When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican peso up my nose.
硬幣塞在別人身上一點(diǎn)都不好笑 我五歲時(shí) 比利·斯巴克斯將一枚 墨西哥比索塞進(jìn)了我的鼻子
Waitwaitwait, how is that not amusing?
等一下 這哪里不好笑啊
It's still there.
到現(xiàn)在還沒弄出來
Takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security.
害我每次要耗費(fèi)45分鐘才能過機(jī)場安檢
Look, I made Sheldon disappear. Tada.
瞧 我把謝爾頓給變沒了
Next time, you should open with that.
下次就用把他變不見為開場吧
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion tarted.Wait...
我們的宇宙進(jìn)入了極熱的高濃度狀態(tài)，后來，140億年前它開始擴(kuò)張。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球開始冷卻，自養(yǎng)生物開始繁殖,穴居人學(xué)會(huì)使用工具，我們開始建墻（我們還建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!bang!
數(shù)學(xué)、科學(xué)、歷史解開了宇宙之謎。這一切從宇宙大爆炸開始。
Ooh, look who's out on a date.Pasadena's favorite power couple, Shamy.
哎呀 那邊在約會(huì)的是誰啊 是帕薩迪納市的超人氣金童玉女 謝米組合
And that is the answer to the question,what is wrong with eating at The Cheesecake Factory?
她剛才回答之前的那問題了 為什么來芝士蛋糕工廠吃飯是錯(cuò)誤的選擇
So, are we celebrating anything special tonight?
今晚是有值得特別慶祝的事情嗎
Oh, yes.
是的
Our relationship agreement specifies that the second Thursday of every month, or the third Thursday in a month with five Thursdays,is date night.
我們的戀愛協(xié)議明確規(guī)定了每個(gè)月的第二個(gè)星期四 如一個(gè)月有五個(gè)周四 則第三個(gè)星期四 便是約會(huì)之夜
That is so hot.
好一段熱情如火的感情啊
All right, without objection, the minutes of the previous date are considered read and agreed to.
好了 如無異議 上一次約會(huì)的概要記錄就算是已經(jīng)閱畢并同意通過了
Any new business?
有什么新事宜嗎
How was your day?
你今天過得怎么樣
Superb.This morning I made a palindrome with my AlphaBits.Nice hat, Bob Tahecin.
棒極了 今天早上我用字母麥片 拼成一句回文 寶寶帽子毛寶寶
Sounds like you hit the ground running.
聽起來你過得挺不錯(cuò)
I have a bit of good news myself.
我自己有一件好消息
My most recent paper on how a cooperative longterm potentiation can map memory sequences in dendritic branches made the cover of Neuron.
我最近撰寫的論文 主題是協(xié)同性長時(shí)程增強(qiáng) 何以找出神經(jīng)元樹突的記憶序列 成功上了《神經(jīng)元》雜志封面了
Ooh! Speaking of good news,somebody...just hit 100 Twitter followers.
哦 說到好消息 人家剛剛有了一百名推特粉絲哦
That's nice.Anyway, I've been dreaming of this day for a long time.
真好總之 我一直夢(mèng)想著這一天的到來已經(jīng)很久很久了
Yeah, me, too.Triple digits, I'm not gonna lie it feels pretty good.
對(duì)啊我也是 三位數(shù)的粉絲啊 不騙你 這感覺太爽了
Sheldon, I'm the sole author on a paper being published in a distinguished journal that may change the course of my field.
謝爾頓 我以唯一作者的身份在著名期刊上發(fā)表了 自己的論文 而且有可能改變 我研究的這個(gè)科學(xué)領(lǐng)域
Ooh, 101!Air's getting a bit thin up here.
哎喲 101個(gè)了 興奮得都有些喘不過來氣了
So, are we ready to order?
那么 準(zhǔn)備好點(diǎn)菜了嗎
Give me a minute.I'm gonna go wash up.
稍等一下 我去整理一下儀容
Well, that's odd.We both washed up when we came in.
好奇怪 我們明明進(jìn)來時(shí)就一起去了
It's probably a euphemism for urination.
大概是排尿的委婉說法吧
Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
謝爾頓 你有毛病啊
Not much. Although, I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears.I don't know what it is,when they start munching on eucalyptus,I just melt inside.
沒大有 當(dāng)然 要說缺點(diǎn)的話 我就是太過于喜歡考拉熊了 我也不知道怎么回事 每當(dāng)看到它們?cè)阼駱渖洗蠼捞亟罆r(shí) 我整個(gè)人都融化了
Okay, Amy just told you some exciting news,and you acted like it was no big deal.
艾米剛告訴你一個(gè)好消息 而你卻表現(xiàn)得毫不在乎
Oh, I see why you're confused.No, her news sounded important, but what you're forgetting is,it was an achievement in the field of biology.
我知道你為什么會(huì)困惑 她的消息聽上去很重要 可你忘了 那是生物學(xué)領(lǐng)域的成就
That's all about yucky, squishy things.
都是惡心黏黏的東西
Honey, she's upset. You're her boyfriend.You have to at least try to be excited by the things she's excited by.
親愛的 她生氣了 你是他男朋友 你至少也該試著 為她高興的事而高興吧
What if they simply don't excite me?
如果我就是高興不起來呢
Well, just smile and think about koalas.
那就想想考拉 然后笑一個(gè)
She'd see right through that.We go to the zoo all the time.She knows my koala face.
她立馬就能識(shí)破 我們經(jīng)常去動(dòng)物園 她知道我看考拉的臉
And for future reference, it's this.
以備將來參考 就是這樣
Oh, you have a lot of magic stuff.
你有這么多魔術(shù)道具啊
Yeah.I started when I was a teenager.I thought I could show a girl a few tricks and invite her up to my bedroom to see the rest of the act.
對(duì) 我十幾歲就開始玩魔術(shù) 當(dāng)年覺得可以先用小魔術(shù)泡妞 再邀請(qǐng)她來房里看更多"好戲"
Did it work?
有用嗎
Ah, let's just say the only wand that ever saw any action was this one.
這么說吧 唯一一"根"有看到好戲的"棒子" 是這根
Oh, look what my mom made us for the act.
看我媽為我們的表演做的
I like the fabric.Where'd she get it?
這布料不錯(cuò)啊 她從哪得來的
Well, she cut up one of her old bathing suits.
她把一條舊泳衣剪了
She made these two vests and half a dozen napkins.
她做了這兩件背心和六張餐巾
Has she tried on the vest yet?!
她試了背心嗎
I just gave it to her!
我剛拿給她
I hope it fits she has a tricky figure!
希望能合身 她身材不好量
She's short and stacked, like me!
跟我一樣又矮又巨乳
She's not stacked like you, Ma! She never steps on hers!
她才不算巨乳 老媽 她不會(huì)踩到自己的胸
Listen, Howie, maybe I'm not the best choice to be a magician's assistant.
華仔 我可能不太適合 當(dāng)魔術(shù)師助手
You'll do fine. Hand me those rings?
你肯定行 把那些環(huán)遞給我
See? You nailed it.
瞧 你做得多好
You know, iit's just that I'm not that comfortable with little kids.
我只是不太喜歡跟小孩子在一起
Well, that's because you haven't been around them much. This is good practice. I mean,you are gonna be a mom someday, right?
那是因?yàn)槟愫苌俑麄兺?這是練習(xí)的好機(jī)會(huì) 你總有一天要做媽媽的嘛
Yeah, sure.
這倒是
I haven't seen this trick in years.It's called the dove pan.
我好久沒看過這個(gè)了 這叫鴿子鍋
You let everyone see the pan is empty,but there's a secret compartment in the lid.And then you open it and produce a live...
先讓觀眾看鍋是空的 但其實(shí)蓋子里有個(gè)暗格 然后打開變出一個(gè)活的...
Don't look in there.
千萬別看里面
Oh, a little Red Dead Redemption, huh?
在玩死亡救贖呢
Yes.
對(duì)
How come you're not doing a mission?You're just wandering around.
你怎么不做任務(wù)啊 只在那閑逛
Had a rough night.I thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head.
今晚被郁悶了 我想散散步 清靜一下
Some people go outside and do that.
正常人會(huì)出門散步
It's after 9:00 at this hour the streets of Pasadena are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats.
已經(jīng)過九點(diǎn)了 這時(shí)候的帕薩迪納街頭 到處是喝醉的水手和野貓
You want to talk about it?
要不要談一談
No.I think I'll just go in this saloon and drink my troubles away.
不要 我還是進(jìn)這家酒館 借酒澆愁吧
You know digital alcohol is never a solution.
電子酒精是解決不了問題的
What's going on?
出什么事了
Hard as this may be to believe,it's possible that I'm not boyfriend material.
說出來也沒人信 我可能不是當(dāng)男朋友的料
Glad I was sitting down for that.
幸好我是坐著聽的啊
Did you and Amy get in a fight?
你跟艾米吵架啦
Amy had a fight; I was being perfectly reasonable.
艾米在吵 我可通情達(dá)理了
I'm gonna have a whiskey.Do you want anything?
我要喝杯威士忌 你要喝點(diǎn)什么嗎
No, I can't.I'm playing Grand Theft Auto later.
不行 酒后不能開車 我一會(huì)兒還要玩?zhèn)b盜獵車手呢
Look, I'm no expert in women...
我雖然不懂女人
I'll say.
同意
That's not necessary when someone's trying to help you.
人家好心幫你 沒必要這么損我吧
I'm sorry. It's the alcohol talking. Go on.
對(duì)不起 酒后胡話 你接著說
Sometimes with women you want to listen to what upsets them and then show them that you can grow and change.
有時(shí)候 你得傾聽女人的煩心事 然后讓她們知道你能成長和改變
Nuts to that. What else you got?
屁話 還有別的招嗎
I don't know what to tell you.Buy her something.
我不知道怎么跟你說 買禮物給她唄
How does that work?
這有什么用
Well, you skip over any attempt to repair your emotional connection and you win back her affection with an empty financial gesture.
略過任何修復(fù)感情的手段 直接用撒錢來贏回她的愛
Well, that approach has Sheldon Cooper written all over it.
這方法完全是我謝爾頓·庫珀的作風(fēng)
Glad I could help.
不用謝我
It's appreciated.And if you ever manage to find a woman again,I'll be glad to return the favor.
要謝謝你 如果你這輩子能再找到一個(gè)女人 我也很樂意回報(bào)你
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