"Are you happy?" I asked my brother, Ian, one day.
“你幸福嗎?”一天我問(wèn)我的兄弟伊恩。
"Yes. No. It depends on what you mean," he said.
“又幸福,又不幸福。這要看你指的是什么,”他說(shuō)。
"Then tell me," I said, "when was the last time you think you were happy?"
“那么告訴我,”我說(shuō),“你最近一次感到幸福是什么時(shí)候?”
"April 1967," he said.
“1967年4月,”他說(shuō)。
It served me right for putting a serious question to someone who has joked his way through life.But Ian's answer reminded me that when we think about happiness, we usually think of something extraordinary, a pinnacle of sheer delight. And those pinnacles seem to get rarer the older we get.
向一個(gè)游戲人生的人提問(wèn)這么嚴(yán)肅的問(wèn)題,我真是自討苦吃。但是伊恩的話(huà)啟發(fā)了我,當(dāng)我們考慮幸福的時(shí)候,我們通常想到一些不同尋常的事情和愉快無(wú)比的時(shí)刻,而隨著年齡的增長(zhǎng),這種時(shí)刻是越來(lái)越少。
For a child, happiness has a magical quality. I remember making hide-outs in newly cut hay, playing cops and robbers in the woods, getting a speaking part in the school play. Of course, kids also experience lows, but their delight at such peaks of pleasure as winning a race or getting a new bike is unreserved.
對(duì)于孩子來(lái)說(shuō),幸福充滿(mǎn)了魔力。我記得在新割下的草堆里捉迷藏,在樹(shù)林里扮演警察和強(qiáng)盜,在校劇中擔(dān)當(dāng)有臺(tái)詞的角色。當(dāng)然孩子也有情緒低落的時(shí)候,但是當(dāng)贏了賽跑或得到一輛新自行車(chē)時(shí),他們流露出快樂(lè)是無(wú)可比擬、沒(méi)有任何保留的。
In the teenage years, the concept of happiness changes. Suddenly it's conditional on such things as excitement, love, popularity and whether that zit will clear up before a prom night. I can still feel the agony of not being invited to a party that almost everyone else was going to. But I also recall the ecstasy of being plucked from obscurity at another event to dance with a John Travolta look-alike.
到了少年時(shí)期,幸福觀發(fā)生了變化。突然間幸福有了條件,例如:刺激、愛(ài)情、名氣以及舞會(huì)前青春痘是否能消除等。我還能感受到因未被邀請(qǐng)去參加一個(gè)幾乎人人有份的晚會(huì)所體會(huì)到的痛苦;我還記得在另一次活動(dòng)中因與一位酷似約翰·屈沃塔的人跳舞而大出風(fēng)頭的那份激動(dòng)心情。
In adulthood the things that bring profound joy - birth, love, marriage - also bring responsibility and the risk of loss. Love may not last, loved ones die. For adults, happiness is complicated.My dictionary defines happy as "lucky" or "fortunate", but I think a better definition of happiness is "the capacity for enjoyment". The more we can enjoy what we have, the happier we are. It's easy to overlook the pleasure we get from loving and being loved, the company of friends, the freedom to live where we please,even good health.
成年時(shí),能帶來(lái)深深歡樂(lè)的事情(如出生、愛(ài)情和婚姻),同時(shí)也帶來(lái)了責(zé)任和失去的危險(xiǎn)。愛(ài)情也許難以持久;心愛(ài)的人也許會(huì)離開(kāi)人世。對(duì)于成年人來(lái)說(shuō),幸福是復(fù)雜的。我的字典把幸福定義為“幸運(yùn)”或“好運(yùn)”。但是我想幸福更好的定義是“享受的能力”。我們?cè)侥芟硎芩鶕碛械囊磺?,我們就越幸福。從?ài)與被愛(ài)、友情、隨心所欲擇地而居、甚至到擁有的健康,其中獲得的快樂(lè)很容易被我們忽視了。
I added up my little moments of pleasure yesterday. First there was sheer bliss when I shut the last lunchbox and had the house to myself. Then I spent an uninterrupted morning writing, which I love. When the kids came home, I enjoyed their noise after the quiet of the day.
我總結(jié)了一下我昨天的幸福時(shí)刻:首先是我合上最后一個(gè)午餐飯盒,獨(dú)自在家時(shí)的那種無(wú)比幸福;然后過(guò)了一個(gè)寫(xiě)作不受干擾的上午,令我愉快;等到孩子們回家,我享受安靜的一天過(guò)后他們吵鬧的聲音。
You never know where happiness will turn up next. When I asked friends what makesthemhappy,somementionedseeminglyinsignificantmoments."Ihate shopping," one friend said."But there's this clerk who always chats and really cheers me up."
你永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法知道下一次幸福何時(shí)來(lái)臨。我問(wèn)朋友們什么能使他們感到幸福,一些人舉出一些似乎不太重要的時(shí)刻。“我不喜歡購(gòu)物,”一位朋友說(shuō),“但那里有一個(gè)愛(ài)聊天的售貨員,讓我感到很愉快。”
Another friend loves the telephone."Every time it rings, I know someone is thinking about me."
另一位朋友喜歡接電話(huà)。“每次電話(huà)鈴聲響,我就知道有人正想著我呢。”
We all experience moments like these. Too few of us register them as happiness.我們都經(jīng)歷過(guò)類(lèi)似的事,但視之為幸福的人寥寥無(wú)幾。
While happiness may be more complex for us, the solution is the same as ever.Happiness isn't about what happens to us; it's about how we perceive what happens to us. It's the knack of finding a positive for every negative, and viewing a setback as a challenge. It's not wishing for what we don't have, but enjoying what we do possess.
雖然幸福對(duì)我們來(lái)說(shuō)也許更錯(cuò)綜復(fù)雜,但是獲得幸福的途徑永遠(yuǎn)是一樣的。幸福不在于我們的遭遇如何,而在于我們?nèi)绾慰创庥龅降氖虑?。這是化消極為積極、將挫折看作挑戰(zhàn)的訣竅。幸福不是憑空許愿,而是享受擁有。