人生不設(shè)限·第十一章 我的“可笑法則”

我們?cè)谟∧岬?ldquo;五都演講之旅”正進(jìn)行到一半，按照計(jì)劃，我將在9天內(nèi)進(jìn)行35場(chǎng)演講。我應(yīng)該已經(jīng)累得像條狗才對(duì)，不過(guò)在這種瘋狂忙碌的行程中，有時(shí)我會(huì)加速前進(jìn)、停不下來(lái)。那時(shí)我們正要前往爪哇，從雅加達(dá)飛往三寶壟。登機(jī)時(shí)，我突然覺(jué)得自己精力旺盛。

We were halfway through a five-city tour of Indonesia where I was speaking thirty-five times in nine days. I should have been dog tired. Sometimes on these manically busy stretches I rev up and can't settle down. We were headed to Java, and just as we were boarding the plane from Jakarta to Semarang, a rush of energy swept over me.

那次共有五個(gè)人跟我一起旅行，包括我的看護(hù)寶漢，他是個(gè)很愛(ài)玩鬧的大塊頭。空中小姐對(duì)他印象應(yīng)該是很深刻的，因?yàn)槲覀兊菣C(jī)時(shí)一直互相取笑。由于我必須從輪椅上下來(lái)，再經(jīng)由通道走到我的座位，所以大家都會(huì)讓我們先上飛機(jī)。當(dāng)我沿著機(jī)艙里的通道往前走時(shí)，寶漢跟在我后頭，我突然有股沖動(dòng)，想要嘗試一件我想了很久的瘋狂事。

Five people were traveling with me, including my caregiver Vaughan, who is a big, strong, fun-loving guy. The female flight attendants were quite impressed with him as we boarded the plane, and we were teasing back and forth. They let us on first because I have to get out of my wheelchair and walk through the plane to my seat. As I headed down the aisle of the plane with Vaughan behind me, I suddenly had this urge to try something crazy that I'd thought about doing for a while.

“快，寶漢，趁著別人還沒(méi)上飛機(jī)，把我舉起來(lái)，看看能不能把我塞進(jìn)行李柜里頭。”我說(shuō)。

"Vaughan, quick, before anyone else comes aboard—lift me up and see if I fit in the overhead baggage compartment!"

我們常常開(kāi)玩笑說(shuō)要這樣做。幾天前，我叫寶漢把我放進(jìn)機(jī)場(chǎng)出境區(qū)的一個(gè)金屬架子里，這個(gè)架子是用來(lái)檢查旅客的行李能不能塞進(jìn)機(jī)艙的行李柜。結(jié)果我一下子就被塞進(jìn)去了，所以他們開(kāi)始叫我“手提行李小孩”。

We'd often joked about doing this. A few days earlier I'd had Vaughan place me inside the metal frame at the departure for seeing if your luggage will fit in the overhead compartment. I easily fit, so they started calling me "the Carry-on Kid."

機(jī)艙座位上方的行李柜相當(dāng)高，我不確定有人可以把我34公斤左右的身體舉到那里，但寶漢可就沒(méi)問(wèn)題了。他把我舉起來(lái)之后，輕輕放進(jìn)我座位上方的行李柜，仿佛我成了“Vuitton”[28]，而不是“Vujicic”[29]。

The overhead compartment was quite high, and I wasn't sure anyone could lift my seventy-four pounds up there, but Vaughan had no trouble. He hoisted me up and gently placed me on my side in the compartment as if I were a Vuitton instead of a Vujicic.

“好，現(xiàn)在關(guān)上行李柜的門，然后等著其他乘客登機(jī)吧。”我說(shuō)。

"Okay, now close the door," I said, "and let's wait for the other passengers to come on board."

寶漢塞了個(gè)枕頭到我的頭下面，然后把門帶上，讓我棲身在座位上方的柜子里?？辗T看到我們搞的鬼，爆笑出來(lái)。我們?nèi)枷裥『⒆右粯痈`笑著，實(shí)在不知道等一下要怎樣演下去。其他乘客魚(yú)貫上了飛機(jī)，渾然不知他們頭上有個(gè)偷渡客。

Vaughan tucked a pillow under my head and snapped the door shut, leaving me perched above the seats. The flight attendants saw what we were up to and cracked up with laughter. We were all snickering like schoolkids, so I wasn't sure we would pull off this prank. But the other passengers came up the ramp, unaware of the stowaway in the overhead.

當(dāng)一位老先生來(lái)到我的行李柜這里要放行李時(shí)，我的工作人員和空服員簡(jiǎn)直控制不住自己，快要笑出來(lái)了。他打開(kāi)行李柜的門……然后跳了起來(lái)，差點(diǎn)撞破機(jī)艙的天花板。

My crew and the flight attendants could hardly contain themselves when an older gentleman came down the aisle and reached up to put his bag in my compartment. He opened the door—and nearly jumped through the roof of the airplane.

我探出頭來(lái)。“先生，你好像沒(méi)有敲門哦!”我說(shuō)。

I popped my head out. "Sir, I don't believe you even knocked!"

幸好那位老先生脾氣很好，跟著我們一起捧腹大笑。接下來(lái)，我就在這頭頂上的棲身之地?cái)[姿勢(shì)，跟他及其他乘客和空服員合拍了好幾百?gòu)堈掌?。?dāng)然，寶漢一直威脅我說(shuō)要把我一直留在那上頭，還警告我“飛行期間有些東西可能會(huì)被調(diào)包哦”。

Luckily, he was a good-natured bloke, and we all had a nice belly laugh. Then while still perched in the overhead, I had to pose for a couple hundred pictures with him, other passengers, and the flight attendants. Of course Vaughan kept threatening to leave me up there, warning that "some items may shift in flight."